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Thread: judgemental jerks w/ questions to follow after story

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    leanne's Avatar
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    #1

    judgemental jerks w/ questions to follow after story

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    stuffy stuck up people irritate me. i am sick to death of bertha better than you's and people telling me i have no idea what i am doing to my children.

    ok this aggrivation stems from a conversation that i had unwillingly on the phone with an adult about my child rosa. now this adult is the boyfriend of the mother of my daughters friend..... still with me? or did i confuse you lol i rephrased that 3 times and still could not come up with a simpler way to write it.

    ok i have 3 daughters as you can tell because i talk about them constantly and they are in my siggy. gorgeous, bright girls with their own quarks , as well as some good things and bad things about them.

    but let me tell you this person called me and proceded to tell me that my daughter was causing problems at school and that she is too old to hang around with this girl . he also said that i did not have any idea what she was doing and that i need to gain control over her. omg

    first of all my daughter is not in trouble at school i know because we talk to them frequently ( she has a learning disability and chose to forgo the learning disabled classroom for a regular classroom, because and i quote " the real world is not going to be patient with me and i need to learn to cope in a normal environment) she is dyslexic and she copes very well. she is on the a/ b honor roll in a regular classroom. she is not to old for this little girl to be friends with in my opinion. she is in the 7th grade and this little girl is in the 6th but age wise they are only seperated by a few months.

    he was complaining because apparently this little girl lets call her sam ( simply because i am tired of calling her little girl). so sam's mom and mom's boyfriend grounded her from using the computer, in fact from having any access at home to the internet at all. so sam and my daughter made an email address and myspace page at school in the computer lab. it was both of their ideas and my daughter was wrong for helping her with it she knows we would never allow that. so sam tells her mom that it was all rosa's idea and that rosa's mom lets her have one yada yada yada.

    so i get the call. i call her school the next day find out everything is ok. i talk to my daughter and find out what is going on. then i call and leave a message for the MOM to call me back not the moms jerk boyfriend. who by the way has a newborn with the mom and no experience with raising children.

    and guess who calls me back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jerk does of course. so i tell him flat out, i do not want to talk to you, i want to talk to sam's mother, which is why my message specified that. so snotty little mimicking man repeats what i say to the mother and says you talk to her and hands her the phone.

    i explain to her that his attitude offended me and that he has no idea. i explained about school and then i went into the internet and myspace crap.

    yes my older two have their own email addresses, and they have a myspace page. not that it is any of their business. they also have cell phones. the myspace page and the email i have the passwords to, i moniter them. they have to have an adult present at home when they get on the internet, to avoid inappropriate behavior. the cell phones are for emergencies only and are pay per minute not contract for my middle child and my oldest has texting only features.

    then i have to explain that my children are not like her children because they grew up in a different lifestyle. they did not have the benefit of living in one place all their lives. they are military children and because of that they have wonderful relationships all over this country and in some other countries as well. we encourage them to keep those ties and friendships and the best way to do this is to allow them internet access.

    she understood and apologized for her jerky boyfriend but still i mean come on already! he does not have children my kids age he has no clue. oh and to call a parent and judge them because they are being told crap by another 13 yr old without even knowing the other parent or the other child for that matter.

    and another thing that urked me, this is NOT his child. he has been in her life for 1 yr! it is not his responsibility to call me if there is a problem it is the parents.

    ok so here are my questions.
    was i wrong?
    would you ever call a parent that you did not know and tell them you think they are awful parents, without knowing the whole story?
    what would you have said to this man if he had called you?
    I feel the need to be petted too!
  2. Senior Member
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    I feel the need to be petted too!
  3. Living in paradise :D
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    #3
    I think u did everything great! It was not his place to call. And I don't think u had to explain anything to them about ur kids having internet access or cells-it's none of their business. I think u handled this very well and were more than accomodating.
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    #4
    I think you did the right thing. You spoke to the mother. He's new at this parenting thing and is obviously trying. Cut him some slack. At least he's trying. He may be failing but he's trying and that's more than you can say for many men. Let Sam's Mom worry about him for now. You did the right thing, you spoke to all parties, found out what happened and spoke directly to the mother about it. It's all you can do. Let it go and move on.
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    #5
    I think you did the right thing. The boyfriend sounds like a real jerk. The mom should have handled things in the first place, not him.

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