Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com

View Poll Results: Friends w/o your partner

Voters
67. You may not vote on this poll
  • It's okay to have the friends

    34 50.75%
  • It isn't okay if the spouse isn't friends with them

    20 29.85%
  • Other

    13 19.40%
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30

Thread: Friendships without your spouse

  1. Community Leader
    LaneyBug's Avatar
    LaneyBug is offline
    Community Leader
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Newport News, VA
    Posts
    9,241
    Blog Entries
    3
    #1

    Friendships without your spouse

    Advertisements
    Okay, I know what my opinion on this is, and I will share later, but I wanted to get some feeback from you. I'm pretty sure this has been done before in one way or another.

    Should married people maintain friendships with members of the opposite sex (that are straight), even if their spouse is not friends with the person? More in depth if the spouse is uncomfortable with the friendship, should it be terminated, or at least downplayed?


    This has nothing to do with me. DH and I see eye to eye on this issue. This is a real issue that I gave advice on, and I'm just curious if I gave the right advice. I'm pretty confident that I did though.


  2. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
    jamiev's Avatar
    jamiev is offline
    Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    14,846
    #2
    honestly, i believe that once your married most friends become "our friends". dh has a few female friends from his childhood that he stays in touch with. I have also gotten to know them and I am 100% comfortable with their friendship.
    while dh was away, i met a few male friends in our area. dh didn't mind because he knew he would also meet them/befriend them once he came home. don't know if that helps.
  3. Senior Member
    Berkley's Avatar
    Berkley is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Pope AFB, NC
    Posts
    30,026
    Blog Entries
    2
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by LaneyBug View Post
    Okay, I know what my opinion on this is, and I will share later, but I wanted to get some feeback from you. I'm pretty sure this has been done before in one way or another.

    Should married people maintain friendships with members of the opposite sex (that are straight), even if their spouse is not friends with the person? More in depth if the spouse is uncomfortable with the friendship, should it be terminated, or at least downplayed?


    This has nothing to do with me. DH and I see eye to eye on this issue. This is a real issue that I gave advice on, and I'm just curious if I gave the right advice. I'm pretty confident that I did though.
    I have a TON of guy friends some matt is friends some he is not. I ALWAYS introduce them to matt and most of MY friends b/c OUR friends and vice versa. But I do have a few that he just isn't to fond of but he's not uncomfortable with ME being friends with them... if that makes sense.
    If he was uncomfortable then the friendship would be terminated imediately
  4. Banned
    goldilockz's Avatar
    goldilockz is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    25,776
    #4
    We both have more friends of the opposite sex than friends of the same sex. There are some that irk me that he has, and there are some that irk him that I have. But we both respect each other's judgment and don't question each other.

    There HAVE been a couple of friends each that we have cut ties with because of their disrespect for our relationship, and never looked back. So I know if there is a friend that treats me like shit or tries to hit on him, he would not speak to her anymore.
  5. Senior Member
    Lckychrmzz's Avatar
    Lckychrmzz is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    17,152
    #5
    I have friends in Cali he has never met nor talked to that I have known a long time and he has no problem with it. Two of them I dated for like a week and broke up with b/c it was just weird. (One of them is married to a girl I set him up with) I dont talk to them that often, the only guy I do talk to frequently besides DH is my friend Nick who is very gay.
  6. Account Closed
    JudyB's Avatar
    JudyB is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Feet on the ground
    Posts
    24,811
    #6
    DH has some female friends that he has had from well before I met him....they talk very rarely on the phone because of distance and their own relationships...I am fine with that, I would never ask him to give up a friendship unless there was a very good reason to.

    He would do the same with me too . The few guy friends I do have live far away and are otherwise commited in a same sex relationship.

    To me it boils down to trust, if you trust your spouse to know when a friend is trying to go further and trust them to know that it needs to end then it's all good to me
  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
    FROGLOVE's Avatar
    FROGLOVE is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Bellevue, Ne.
    Posts
    41,152

    #7
    We both have good friends of the opposite sex. Actually a girl he knew from online hes known her for YEARS at least 8 years...she is one of MY dearest friends now!


    It doesnt bug me if he has friends that are girls and it doesnt bug him that I have guy friends.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
    DakotaCowgirl's Avatar
    DakotaCowgirl is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Home is where our feet land
    Posts
    12,453
    #8
    I put other because my friends are his friends. But they are more mind then his. confused yet?

    I have no problem talking with him on the phone or in public, BUT, I WOULDN"T go over to his house alone, or keep something from my DH about the situation. That is just asking for trouble. My DH trusts me 100% but jealousy happens and my Marriage is more important then a friendship that must have secrets.
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Jennygirl's Avatar
    Jennygirl is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    27,306
    #9
    personal experience in this house, no. Our friends are now each others, but i dont have guy friends that call me and such.
    Are you scrappy enough for me
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
    SammaJamma's Avatar
    SammaJamma is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    14,362

    #10
    I don't see a problem if I or my DH had friends of the oppisite sex without each other. I trust my husband...reguardless if I didn't trust the other person and thats all that matters
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •