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Thread: Spin off on "Wedding Hoopla"

  1. Looking for the sunshine...
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    #1

    Confused Spin off on "Wedding Hoopla"

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    In this day and age do you think parents should be stuck with the huge wedding bill that is now associated with today's wedding standards?

    I have been reading about the costs of wedding gowns, the HUGE wedding parties and guest lists, the registering, the extravagant honeymoons ect....and I'm like Then I saw the "Wedding Hoopla" post and got to thinking;

    I have 3 daughters and this is what I've told them; I will not pay for a huge wedding as it's a waste of time/money. I would rather give them the money for a down payment on a house/car, pay off their bills so they can start fresh, ect.... I see NO good reason to spend thousands of dollars on ONE day. My wedding total; $1200....that was gown, wedding rings, hotel, dinner, tux, rental car, preacher's fee, wedding license. I just don't get it.

    Personally I think the wedding industry has grown into a monster! I understand a small ceremony with a nice dinner but some brides are Bridezilla's and are spoiled rotten! $500 for a dress to wear for 8 hours, expecting your friends to pay for god awful ugly bridesmaid dresses, ect...
    I understand "I've always dreamed of my wedding day", "It's MY day I want all the attention" ect....but should your parents foot your bill for such indulgence?

    Tell me!
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    #2
    I think it is ridiculous now adays. I will help my children when it comes time for their special day. I will not however put myself in debt.
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  3. JadedPrincess
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    Well, if you're going to be over the top then you should help with the cost. But if you want to keep it simple I don't see why parents can't pay. I mean you're starting off you don't have a whole lot of money to begin with. I wouldn't want my mom to help with a bill payment but that's only because she'd hold it over me forever. That's just us though. If you're going to give the bill payment as a wedding gift and leave it at that then that's ok. Conversely, if your parents are paying for the wedding, then that's their gift. You shouldn't get anything else.

    Also, what if by the time you're married, you're financially pretty well set up? What then? A wedding will always need paying for but depending on the timeframe and situation, the couple might not have any major bills to pay off right then.
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    #4
    i dunno.
    my dad paid for the majority of my wedding...and it was a big expensive wedding. but...he has the money for that. i think it just depends. i'd love to be able to pay for my daughters wedding...but we can only do whatever we can afford.
  5. JadedPrincess
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by sgmwife1 View Post
    I think it is ridiculous now adays. I will help my children when it comes time for their special day. I will not however put myself in debt.
    Quote Originally Posted by carmel11725 View Post
    i dunno.
    my dad paid for the majority of my wedding...and it was a big expensive wedding. but...he has the money for that. i think it just depends. i'd love to be able to pay for my daughters wedding...but we can only do whatever we can afford.
    I think that's where a fine line is. Paying for the wedding is one thing; digging yourself into debt is another completely. The second is pretty dumb.
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    #6
    my parents are paying for mine...but we're not going super extravagent, maybe like 5000 or so...which is what i would have if i were paying for it myself and that is how i am treating this whole thing, so i don't know.

    i would like to be able to help my kids someday.

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  7. baby.blue.eyes
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    My parents forked over $10,000 for my older brother's wedding (which was only a thrid of the cost). After his wedding they told me that I would get the same amount because they don't believe that daughters should get more towards a wedding simply because they were born female.

    My parents said I get the $10,000 to spend as I wish...I plan to use as little as possible for the wedding and use the rest to help us have a happy bill free marriage.

    Expensive weddings are crazy...you should be planning for the marriage not the wedding. This is probably why the divorce rate in America is so terrible. Once the wedding is over the fairytale wears off and reality sets in.

    DB and I've been talking about what we would do for a wedding and we are both on the same "small" wedding page. My friends don't get it...they all say, but this is the most important day of your life. I honestly believe if the wedding is the most important day of your life...something is wrong. Every day you spend with your husband should be important, not just that one day. It is like you are telling yourself...this is my special day, I'm not planning on getting any others so life after this day is going to suck!
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    #8
    If the parents can afford it and they WANT to pay for it then I don't see a problem. But I do not think they should feel they HAVE to pay for it. For me it's only if they want to because I don't care if I don't have the money I can either wait to do a big wedding later on if it means that much to me or I can just do what I can. Then again I'm one of those that spent less than $200 on my wedding because really I don't care about a big wedding I just wanted to marry my DH.
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    #9
    My sister just got married, and my parents did not pay for her wedding, this was no surprise to her, we've been told since we've started to seriously date that they weren't going to pay for the wedding. My parents decided on a very generous "gift" that they would give us when we get married. My mom also paid for my sisters wedding dress. They plan on giving all of us the same gift (my brothers included).
    Some of the rationale they used, which makes total sense, is they paid for their own wedding, what if (heaven forbid) we were to get divorced - they dont want to hold "well we paid an arm and a leg for your wedding" against us, AND when parents pay, the parents get the say on certain decisions. So, there are no conflicts with I want this, no I want that.
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    #10
    my parents are paying for almost my entire wedding. (DF is contributing about $4,000 and we'll pay for the HM) and my wedding is really expensive... total will prolli be around $20,000. now before someone calls me a brat (or anyone else) for them spending that much money... please consider something for me: it was MY PARENTS who decided to invite over 300 guest. granted its exactly what i would have dreamt of... but the budget cuts i suggest, my parents refuse to go along with. a lot of times people make me feel guilty for having such a large wedding, but please consider its not always the bride's fault things are expensive.
    i suggested hor dourves instead of dinner, limited bar, cupcakes instead of cake, ect.... all things that would be completely normal because i'm having a friday night wedding (which by the way is cheaper too).

    so no, i don't feel bad about my parents taking the bill. do i wish i could help more.. hell yes! but i cant. they didn't have to offer. they also didn't have to decline major help from DF's family. i suggested splitting all cost into 1/3(my parents, his mom&stepdad, and df&i)... maybe 1/4 if df's dad offered to help. my parents said no, we're doing this thing the traditional way. so yeah... just consider those things before thinking the bride is spoiled and ridiculous for having her parents spend so much.
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