How much have you spent...

[Julianne]

during your SO's deployment?


I feel very guilty and uncomfortable saying this... But I think I have hit that point where I am sort of realizing that I am going overboard. Anytime I go anywhere, I always see something I want to send to my SO. I will go to WalMart for a couple things, and end up spending $100 on stuff for him. I sent care packages to my SO this past Tuesday and Saturday. And even with the flat rate boxes, the postage costs add up. And phone calls... eek. He got a cell phone over there that has free incoming minutes, so I always call him. I don't even know yet how much I ran my phone bill up at first, but now I got a calling card. I think it is 20 cents a minute... but that adds up.... say we talk for 30 minutes, a couple days a week, with 45 more weeks of him in Iraq... that's about $25 a week = $1000+!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am sort of hoping that I don't embarass myself by miscalculating that, but I am also hoping there is an error.... ) And, my big brother is over there too, and I send him a care package every other week, sometimes every week. It is easier to pace myself because I know that my SIL is sending him stuff all the time.

I just can't help myself. I hate the way deployments leave you feeling so powerless. I can't protect him, I can't make everything ok, I can't do all those things I could do when he was here with me. But I know I can still make him smile and brighten up his day a little with mail and phone calls. Can you put a price on that? And even worse, I really hate thinking this and admitting it, but I make myself friggin sick every time I get off the phone thinking that it could have been the last time I ever talk to him. Or the very very few times I have missed his calls, I completely freak out because I think it may have been the last time he will ever call me.

I mean do I just say F it? Spend whatever? Live in the moment? Worry about my credit card later? That is not me though. I am damn proud to say I have no debt. It's not because I roll in the dough, it's because I have always been so careful about what I spend my money on, and I have always been so focused on saving.

I am so torn. Either way I feel like crap. I just don't know which is the lesser of two evils.

I want your thoughts, opinions, etc..... pronto!!!

[cheerkelly]

I know. I spent $132 just this past month on text messages alone for DF. I about died when I got that bill! It doesn't include the basic cell phone charges....that's JUST texts to him! I've spent a small fortune for care packages too. I start to feel guilty...because that money could be better spent elsewhere. But I can't do without talking to him...or sending him stuff! I'm addicted to him! LOL!

I don't know that there's any good solution...other than the fact that he'll be home at some point, and your spending will slow down tremendously!

But for now, we're in the same boat!!! It does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one!!!

[SnowCrystal]

Somehow I always end up overspending when he is gone.

[Jen25]

I think as long as all the basics are covered, go a little crazy and spend what you want. They apreciate it and you can always save again when he's back. One tip though, if you have good credit, see about a new credit card with zero percent interest for the first year or 6 months even. That can help save interest costs. I just mailed out a package with over $300 worth of stuff in it today. I know what you mean about spending a lot on your guy. But they aren't home, and so by sending them a few things to brighten their day and or make things more bearable, isn't it something you need to do? Am I crazy?

[rcwant2be]

i send db a package a month. i didn't realize til the last 3 packages that i could use the flat rate box. I LOVE IT! i probably spent $40-50 on each box, plus postage...then there's all the cards & letters i sent. i spent a fair amount on stationary & stickers too.

[chelsea<3josh]

ugh i know how you feel!!! i spent wayyyyy too much money on his care packages too. I was sending one every week for about 3 months or so. i just would buy him whatever i thought he would like. then he would sometimes ask me to get him things. razors are expensive!!! but i didn't care how much i spent really because i knew it was the least i could do for him. toward the end tho i just sent him cards and letters though because he didn't need anything else. he sent me a box of stuff that i had send him

as for the phone, with us he calls me from his computer so it's really cheap 0.01 a min!! and if he has to go to the mwr it's with his calling card, that he pays for minutes on.

i think if it makes you feel better to buy him the things and send him the boxes then it is okay. if you can afford to do it then i would do it! that's how i looked at it, i sent him those things because i could and because i wanted to and because i hate that he's there!!! also, for your phone bill maybe you can change your plan so that you won't be going over your minutes, that could save you money for sure!!

[TexasArmyWife]

I do the same thing... I've sent him 1-2 boxes each week since he deployed in December. It's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm still taking care of him in some way. I know it makes him feel good, but honestly, it makes me feel even better. I try to stick to flatrate postage too, it's ridiculous how much postage has went up this year.

[gunsgirl]

I sent DH and DS care packages twice a month-

and I didn't use very big boxes- I spent maybe 50 dollars a month for both of them-

I really tried not to go over board sine we were saving to buy a house-

I guess have a a goal- plan to start saving for a vaca or R&R-- and just have a budget- and stick to it-

we did not text or call- I wrote an old fashion letter every day and mailed them 3 times a week. and I bought cute little cards saying I miss you-

it is really nice to get a letter from home- instead of a text....

[BJo]

I go overboard all the time. I send him a package every week and it adds up. It makes me feel closer to him to do those things though. Like even though he is across the world I feel closer to him. Now when I go to the grocery store or Target, I just think about what he would want instead of me! I'm trying to do more for myself though now!

[KDMatthews]

Hmmm, I think I'm a little different since my hubby's on a sub so I can't send him packages when i want to and even when I can it's only a clear 1 gallon ziplock bag so I don't spend much at all. All he wants is magazines, gum, candy, letters, and pictures. I SAVE a ton of money when he's gone since we don't go out to eat without him and of course I don't gamble, so...