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Thread: DB has been "adopted"...

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    Giggle DB has been "adopted"...

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    When I talked yesterday with DB on the phone he told me (laughing) that I got concurrence when it comes to packages and cards/letters. There is another lady sending him packages and letters Because he was playing with me, the way he put it made my blood staring to boil! But then he told me the whole story, apparently there is this group of old ladies in Holland that have or had something to do with army (wives of retired soldiers or so) that use to pick a random soldier that is deployed and sort of adopt him/her and send care packages and cards and letters. Well that calmed me down a bit But still canít stop feeling somehow jealous at the thought that another woman is taking care of my boy and sends him letters. He reassured me that still my packages are the best because I know what he likes and donít just send random sweets. Plus I send weekly packages always containing homemade cookies which he loves!. She does not do that. And as he said, sheís old lady ... I know is a very nice and innocent gesture of her. And when he is back I would like to go with him and meet her, maybe bring some flowers or so. But still I canít fight this jealousy feeling..

    Is your SO also ďadoptedĒ by someone else and what are your feelings on that?
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    #2
    My DH had an organization that sent him hundreds of care packages while he was deployed. One day he received about 60 packages from them. The organization got his name from his grandma and they sent him all the packages to distribute out to all of the other guys he was with. DH 's unit also received letters from kids and there was a group of church women who sent them packages and knitted them scarfs and such.

    But I can't say I was ever jealous about it. I thought it was wonderful that so many people cared about DH and his unit and took the time and money to send him things. I sent DH a lot of care packages so he never really needed the additional care packages he recieved. But there were a few guys who never recieved a single letter or care package from their family. Often times DH would give those guys the packages that he recieved from the organization or the church women.

    I don't really understand why you are jealous or upset if anything I would feel blessed that there is a complete stranger out in this world who cares about our soldiers morale so much that she is taking the time and money to send those packages. But that is just me.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by RetepDoc View Post
    My DH had an organization that sent him hundreds of care packages while he was deployed. One day he received about 60 packages from them. The organization got his name from his grandma and they sent him all the packages to distribute out to all of the other guys he was with. DH 's unit also received letters from kids and there was a group of church women who sent them packages and knitted them scarfs and such.

    But I can't say I was ever jealous about it. I thought it was wonderful that so many people cared about DH and his unit and took the time and money to send him things. I sent DH a lot of care packages so he never really needed the additional care packages he recieved. But there were a few guys who never recieved a single letter or care package from their family. Often times DH would give those guys the packages that he recieved from the organization or the church women.

    I don't really understand why you are jealous or upset if anything I would feel blessed that there is a complete stranger out in this world who cares about our soldiers morale so much that she is taking the time and money to send those packages. But that is just me.
    I was happy that DH got a care package from someone other than me. He knows that I care, the package that he's gotten from someone other than me are important to him in a different way because it reminds him that other people do care even if they don't neccesarily have to. It's not about you right now, he's deployed, there's nothing to be jealous or insecure about and I hope that you can see that and see that it's a beautiful thing that these ladies are taking the time to do.
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    #4
    yes, I understand that, and as I said when he is back I want to go with him to thank this lady for her gesture. I know is not about me, that's why I really did not do any big deal out of it (after I heard the whole story), and is ok that he is getting all this attention, and seems to enjoy it I am happy when he is happy.
    Though I know all this things make sense logically I was surprised to feel inside that jealousy at the thought that another woman sends him letters. Was probably also the way he put it, that I have concurrence at my packages. I don't do good with "concurence" when I know I put my whole soul into making those care packages. I never mentioned this feeling to him, but I guess I don't have to, he knows me good enough that's why he was teasing me with it
    I guess I just need to "loose up" a bit and learn to share his attention
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    #5
    My parents and DH's parents already send him packages too, so the idea of someone else getting in on it doesn't bother me. I'm sure he was just teasing, and not really trying to upset you.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Adria View Post
    yes, I understand that, and as I said when he is back I want to go with him to thank this lady for her gesture. I know is not about me, that's why I really did not do any big deal out of it (after I heard the whole story), and is ok that he is getting all this attention, and seems to enjoy it I am happy when he is happy.
    Though I know all this things make sense logically I was surprised to feel inside that jealousy at the thought that another woman sends him letters. Was probably also the way he put it, that I have concurrence at my packages. I don't do good with "concurence" when I know I put my whole soul into making those care packages. I never mentioned this feeling to him, but I guess I don't have to, he knows me good enough that's why he was teasing me with it
    I guess I just need to "loose up" a bit and learn to share his attention
    This word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
    Were you looking to say competition maybe?
    Concurrence means agreement.


    Also agree with Reptepdoc. I don't find it something to get jealous or mad over. I'd be perfectly fine with anyone, male or female, of any age sending my dh care packages when he was deployed. Deployment sucks, it's shitty, mail is one of the morale boosters and yeah he is getting things from you but it is also nice to have a surprise where you have no idea what you're going to get. I think it is very sweet of those ladies to do.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by BraveLilToaster View Post
    This word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
    Were you looking to say competition maybe?
    Concurrence means agreement.


    Also agree with Reptepdoc. I don't find it something to get jealous or mad over. I'd be perfectly fine with anyone, male or female, of any age sending my dh care packages when he was deployed. Deployment sucks, it's shitty, mail is one of the morale boosters and yeah he is getting things from you but it is also nice to have a surprise where you have no idea what you're going to get. I think it is very sweet of those ladies to do.
    I was wondering the same thing. And then spent at least a few minutes wondering if I needed to buy myself a new dictionary, lol (no offense OP, not making fun of you)
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by BraveLilToaster View Post
    This word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
    Were you looking to say competition maybe?
    Concurrence means agreement.
    yep that's what I meant - competition. Sorry, just translated it from my mother language

    I knew feeling like this is silly and unnecessary. And you girls just proved me right.
    Thanks for the "reality shower"
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    #9
    i can see a little of why you felt a twinge of jealousy, but i think all of of our SO's in some way or another get things from other people besides us while deployed. most people it's the person's other family members. or in your case he was "adopted." for my DH he doesn't give out his address like most people do... no one in his unit really does. however, there are organizations that send care packages to be distrubuted base-wide overseas, so they would always have a stockpile of random things. churches do that a lot too. this last deployment they legit just for his small group of guys deployed together had like a shelf full of toiletres... unending supplies of baby wipes, air fresheners, hand sanitizer, soap etc... so he clearly didn't need me to send any of those things i was actually a little sad that he didn't "need" me to send him any hygiene items. so i kind of understand. but i still had fun sending him his favorite snacks and random silly toys!
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    #10
    I get what you're saying, I too would have that 'twinge' of jealously, but with my DBs family situation I wouldn't mind too much (once getting past that short twinge of jealousy). For the past year and half I've really been the closest thing to family he has had. He recently just got back in touch with his relatives and I'm hoping they send him something this deployment, I know it gets lonely after a while and knowing that you're appreciated I'm sure means a lot to the guys and gals deployed.

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