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Thread: Lies we tell our children (or were told to us)

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    #1

    Lies we tell our children (or were told to us)

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    I tell my kids their ears turn red when they lie to me, this makes it so if I don't know if they are telling me the truth I say "show me your ears" and they either tell me the truth, or try to hide their ears on their shoulders. I'm not sure where I got this, here? Facebook?

    Also, my six year old will not eat onions unless I tell her they are Japanese onions.

    My dad used to tell me I wouldn't learn to whistle if I didn't eat my crusts.

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    #2
    Redheads are bad luck. Guess what I am?

    We had a monster who lived on the roof and would take naughty children away in a bag to eat them.

    I used to be frightened of very big dogs. I was told that if I bit my own tongue when I saw one, he wouldn’t know I was afraid.

    I was strictly forbidden at one point from mentioning the name of Argentina’s President. He was like a walking, talking curse in his own right, and there was (and is, people still don’t mention him) kind of a Voldemort effect!
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    #3
    The ear thing is really cute!

    My sister wouldn't eat broccoli, unless you called it green cauliflower. Neither sister would eat hot dogs, you had to call them weiners (which, as a 13 year old at the time, was absolutely hilarious to me. Apparently if you called them hot dogs, they thought there was literally dogs cooked in them).

    I was the opposite of a picky eater when I was a kid, so I don't remember being told any specific lies about food other than the generic "clean your plate so you'll grow tall and strong" (yeah, thanks genetics, still short). As long as someone else was eating it, I wanted it too.

    My grandma always told me that I had to listen to her until I was taller than her, which resulted in me listening because oh, just you wait till I'm taller!! And then when I finally gained an inch on her, I was in my late teens and was more than happy to listen to her stories & advice.

    I do remember being very upset that we didn't have a chimney so obviously Santa wouldn't be able to get the presents to us, so my dad put flour on his boots and walked around on the carpet to make footprints to show that Santa could come in through the lock on the door. I also was concerned I never saw any evidence of reindeer (I wanted to pet one very badly), so we made up Reindeer food of red/green sprinkles & oats to throw outside, and my grandma would rough up the snow to make it look like reindeer landed, ate it, and flew away.

    Joke's on them, since I figured out Dad was Santa in kindergarten, but pretended to believe until I was probably 12 or so. Should've said something sooner, because I had a lot of fun helping set up stuff for my sisters.
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    #4
    We were told to eat our crusts because it would give us curly hair (but we never wanted curly hair) We were also told we had to clear our plates before leaving the table because there are starving children in Africa (which isn't really a lie I guess).
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Redheads are bad luck. Guess what I am?

    We had a monster who lived on the roof and would take naughty children away in a bag to eat them.

    I used to be frightened of very big dogs. I was told that if I bit my own tongue when I saw one, he wouldn’t know I was afraid.

    I was strictly forbidden at one point from mentioning the name of Argentina’s President. He was like a walking, talking curse in his own right, and there was (and is, people still don’t mention him) kind of a Voldemort effect!
    It's not that you are bad luck, it's that you are witches. But since witches usually have black cats and black cats are bad luck, I guess it's not totally a lie.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by sassyspoonicus View Post
    The ear thing is really cute!

    My sister wouldn't eat broccoli, unless you called it green cauliflower. Neither sister would eat hot dogs, you had to call them weiners (which, as a 13 year old at the time, was absolutely hilarious to me. Apparently if you called them hot dogs, they thought there was literally dogs cooked in them).

    I was the opposite of a picky eater when I was a kid, so I don't remember being told any specific lies about food other than the generic "clean your plate so you'll grow tall and strong" (yeah, thanks genetics, still short). As long as someone else was eating it, I wanted it too.

    My grandma always told me that I had to listen to her until I was taller than her, which resulted in me listening because oh, just you wait till I'm taller!! And then when I finally gained an inch on her, I was in my late teens and was more than happy to listen to her stories & advice.

    I do remember being very upset that we didn't have a chimney so obviously Santa wouldn't be able to get the presents to us, so my dad put flour on his boots and walked around on the carpet to make footprints to show that Santa could come in through the lock on the door. I also was concerned I never saw any evidence of reindeer (I wanted to pet one very badly), so we made up Reindeer food of red/green sprinkles & oats to throw outside, and my grandma would rough up the snow to make it look like reindeer landed, ate it, and flew away.

    Joke's on them, since I figured out Dad was Santa in kindergarten, but pretended to believe until I was probably 12 or so. Should've said something sooner, because I had a lot of fun helping set up stuff for my sisters.
    We call broccoli “trees” in our house. The way to get my five year old to eat things he doesn’t want (and there are only a few of those, thank God, though he’s weirdly picky about apples) is to let him be a dinosaur while he does it

    We have never done Santa. Shocking, I know, but I didn’t grow up with him either so I’d only vaguely know how!

    Instead, you get your family presents on Christmas Eve, wait a week or so until early January and put a bowl of water, a box of apples, sugar and grass/hay, bottles of beer and either bread or cake (there’s a special cake) out. This is for Gaspar, Baltasar and Melchior - the Three Kings from the story - and their horses. In some versions of the story they have camels, but in the one I know they ride horses. Four year old me had no idea what a reindeer was.

    You leave your shoes outside your bedroom door, and they put presents in the shoes. Only little presents, since they have to fit. Money or candy, or maybe some little toy like a matchbox car or a yoyo. If it can’t fit in a pair of children’s shoes, it’s too big.

    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    It's not that you are bad luck, it's that you are witches. But since witches usually have black cats and black cats are bad luck, I guess it's not totally a lie.
    Nope. Not a witch, just cursed. The word usually used is mufa which is like...bad juju.
    Last edited by Matchbox; 07-02-2018 at 06:51 PM.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    We call broccoli “trees” in our house. The way to get my five year old to eat things he doesn’t want (and there are only a few of those, thank God, though he’s weirdly picky about apples) is to let him be a dinosaur while he does it

    We have never done Santa. Shocking, I know, but I didn’t grow up with him either so I’d only vaguely know how!

    Instead, you get your family presents on Christmas Eve, wait a week or so until early January and put a bowl of water, a box of apples, sugar and grass/hay, bottles of beer and either bread or cake (there’s a special cake) out. This is for Gaspar, Baltasar and Melchior - the Three Kings from the story - and their horses. In some versions of the story they have camels, but in the one I know they ride horses. Four year old me had no idea what a reindeer was.

    You leave your shoes outside your bedroom door, and they put presents in the shoes. Only little presents, since they have to fit. Money or candy, or maybe some little toy like a matchbox car or a yoyo. If it can’t fit in a pair of children’s shoes, it’s too big.



    Nope. Not a witch, just cursed. The word usually used is mufa which is like...bad juju.
    Unless...no! say it ain't so! You may be Red, but please tell us you are not a Ginger!
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Unless...no! say it ain't so! You may be Red, but please tell us you are not a Ginger!
    It’s quite a dark coppery colour. Do I still get to have a soul?

    My parents shaved my head when I was a baby. It’s supposed to make the baby’s hair grow in thicker, but I think in my case they were hoping it would come in again darker as well! Sadly, I remain stubbornly red...though I DO seem to be one of the rare redheads who doesn’t glow in the dark, so there is that.

    Where on earth did you think the name Matchbox came from? I’m secretly the Redheads match girl
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    #9
    So my mother used to tell me that all the mechanical rides outside the grocery store or wherever took "special coins" not regular money and she didn't have any...that way she never had to let me ride them....
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    #10
    My mom always told me if I turned on the dome light in the car while we were driving at night she would get a ticket, I've actually said this to my daughter before but only very recently learned it's not true


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