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Thread: Lies we tell our children (or were told to us)

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    #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    It’s quite a dark coppery colour. Do I still get to have a soul?

    My parents shaved my head when I was a baby. It’s supposed to make the baby’s hair grow in thicker, but I think in my case they were hoping it would come in again darker as well! Sadly, I remain stubbornly red...though I DO seem to be one of the rare redheads who doesn’t glow in the dark, so there is that.

    Where on earth did you think the name Matchbox came from? I’m secretly the Redheads match girl
    That must be a Kiwi thing. Never heard of it.
    I thought the "Matchbox" was because you were a bad speller.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #12
    Here is one!
    FAO Schwartz was a toy museum. The $5,000 stuffed giraffe (almost life size) was not actually for sale.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by April Lynne View Post
    My mom always told me if I turned on the dome light in the car while we were driving at night she would get a ticket, I've actually said this to my daughter before but only very recently learned it's not true
    My mom used to tell me if you couldn't drive the car if that light was turned on...totally found out that's not true later in life...
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    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    That must be a Kiwi thing. Never heard of it.
    I thought the "Matchbox" was because you were a bad speller.
    Why would I do a Kiwi thing when I’m not a Kiwi?

    At the point when they were shaving my head, we were Argentinean. Now, we’re that and Australian as well - we came here when I was young. The Kiwis are next door.

    And I try very hard with my spelling. English is damn difficult.

    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Here is one!
    FAO Schwartz was a toy museum. The $5,000 stuffed giraffe (almost life size) was not actually for sale.
    That’s a good one!




    I told my son that every time he picked his nose, he was scratching his brain. He hasn’t done it since.




    The same son does not like mint. He HAAAAATES mint, and has done since he was a toddler who ate a handful of mint out of the garden by mistake. This may be the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to him.

    If we buy ice cream cones, it’s a given that I’ll get basically none of mine to myself, right? Between the four kids, I get swarmed by small people who’ve finished theirs and started wanting some of whatever I’ve got, then complaining that I didn’t get bubblegum. How very dare I buy my ice cream in a flavour I like, right?

    My way of dealing with this is to buy something green. It doesn’t matter what it is. Mint, apple, lime, green tea...it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s green.

    “You won’t like this. It has mint in it.”

    Child One, as stated, hates mint. The other three take their cues from the strength of his response, and I get to finish my ice cream
    Last edited by Matchbox; 07-03-2018 at 08:29 PM.
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Why would I do a Kiwi thing when I’m not a Kiwi?

    At the point when they were shaving my head, we were Argentinean. Now, we’re that and Australian as well - we came here when I was young. The Kiwis are next door.

    And I try very hard with my spelling. English is damn difficult.



    That’s a good one!




    I told my son that every time he picked his nose, he was scratching his brain. He hasn’t done it since.




    The same son does not like mint. He HAAAAATES mint, and has done since he was a toddler who ate a handful of mint out of the garden by mistake. This may be the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to him.

    If we buy ice cream cones, it’s a given that I’ll get basically none of mine to myself, right? Between the four kids, I get swarmed by small people who’ve finished theirs and started wanting some of whatever I’ve got, then complaining that I didn’t get bubblegum. How very dare I buy my ice cream in a flavour I like, right?

    My way of dealing with this is to buy something green. It doesn’t matter what it is. Mint, apple, lime, green tea...it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s green.

    “You won’t like this. It has mint in it.”

    Child One, as stated, hates mint. The other three take their cues from the strength of his response, and I get to finish my ice cream
    Kiwi, Australian. No real difference.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Kiwi, Australian. No real difference.
    Just don’t look at the flags, or you might really get confused.

    There’s also a section in our Constitution (which, unlike the American one, no one pays much attention to...it’s extremely boring) explicitly allowing New Zealand to join Australia immediately if they ever ask to do so. I can’t think why they ever would ask, but they can.
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Just don’t look at the flags, or you might really get confused.

    There’s also a section in our Constitution (which, unlike the American one, no one pays much attention to...it’s extremely boring) explicitly allowing New Zealand to join Australia immediately if they ever ask to do so. I can’t think why they ever would ask, but they can.
    And why you would want them to....!
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    And why you would want them to....!
    Marginally better political discourse (they’re slightly more functional than we are), a much better rugby team and a lifetime supply of Lemon & Paeroa.

    The L&P alone would make Husband so happy. Neither of us would say no to the rugby team either.
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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    #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Marginally better political discourse (they’re slightly more functional than we are), a much better rugby team and a lifetime supply of Lemon & Paeroa.

    The L&P alone would make Husband so happy. Neither of us would say no to the rugby team either.
    Rather than ruin your delicious descriptions by me googling it first, what is this lemon and paeroa you speak of?
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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    #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Rather than ruin your delicious descriptions by me googling it first, what is this lemon and paeroa you speak of?
    It's a drink. Read the can, you'll get the idea.

    You can sometimes find it in shops here, but not consistently. This is a shame, as Husband is very attached to all kinds of Lemonish Stuff. He'll settle for pub squash or lemonade if he has to, but in his perfect world he has an IV bag of L&P attached to his person at all times.
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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