Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22

Thread: What's the funniest "clueless male" thing your DB/DF/DH has ever said or done?

  1. Senior Member
    kt_bug's Avatar
    kt_bug is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    521
    #1

    Giggle What's the funniest "clueless male" thing your DB/DF/DH has ever said or done?

    Advertisements
    For example, my DB has asked me if I have to change my tampon every time I pee because I can't pee with it in, right? (Dear God can we please improve sexual education)

    He also sent me a bathing suit recently that came with only the top because he didn't realize that when you buy a women's bathing suit you have to buy the top and bottom separately lol. It was very sweet.
  2. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,310
    Blog Entries
    2
    #2
    Hmmm, a little sexism is always a nice topic..But maybe he wanted to see you in just the top?

    And do you need to change it each time?

    How and why the heck would a guy know that? Or care? Or want to know that? Ugh
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  3. "...now do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
    Matchbox is offline
    "...now do Classical Gas"
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    1,299
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    Hmmm, a little sexism is always a nice topic..But maybe he wanted to see you in just the top?

    And do you need to change it each time?

    How and why the heck would a guy know that? Or care? Or want to know that? Ugh
    It's basic education. We learn about your bodies (the average fifteen year old girl would have an uncontrollable giggle fit if you asked her to draw/label a drawing of dick and balls, but she could do it...she'll very likely know more about her boyfriend's body than she does about her own) so it's only fair to expect that you should know the basic workings of ours. Knowing that there are two holes in there would be a good place to start.

    Per topic, when I was pregnant this last time my husband went slightly mad.

    Pure bad luck means that he missed a lot of my pregnancies with our other kids, so a LOT of it was new to him, and he spent a lot of time reading up on things trying to understand. Between not knowing very much about it in general and this particular pregnancy being high-risk and therefore slightly more complicated, he turned into a grandma!

    "Have you taken your meds? Take your meds."

    "Here, drink this vast sea of water all at once."

    "Sit. The fuck. Down."

    It was quite sweet, really...but I was PREGNANT, not SICK.
  4. The name says it all!
    ALil2Naughty's Avatar
    ALil2Naughty is offline
    The name says it all!
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Loki's chambers
    Posts
    26,360

    #4
    I'd have to say dh thinking that tampons came color coded. My poor sweet husband!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  5. Senior Member
    kt_bug's Avatar
    kt_bug is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    521
    #5
    I say if you're gonna be involved in a woman's parts down there you should have some idea of how they work. I'd venture that almost anyone who has witnessed one of these moments has found it rather innocent and endearing. No one is here to say "ugh men are so stupid," it's all in good fun. If you asked for biggest blonde moment I'd be more than happy to contribute.

    P.S. Yes you can pee with a tampon in. The urethra and vagina are separate.
  6. Senior Member
    kt_bug's Avatar
    kt_bug is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    521
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ALil2Naughty View Post
    I'd have to say dh thinking that tampons came color coded. My poor sweet husband!
    Lol! Wouldn't that be convenient. I took a tampon out of the packaging to show DB because he'd never seen one before and he just went "It's so small!" (I think it was a regular or maybe a super). I'm interested to know how big he thought tampond were lol.
  7. The name says it all!
    ALil2Naughty's Avatar
    ALil2Naughty is offline
    The name says it all!
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Loki's chambers
    Posts
    26,360

    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by kt_bug View Post
    Lol! Wouldn't that be convenient. I took a tampon out of the packaging to show DB because he'd never seen one before and he just went "It's so small!" (I think it was a regular or maybe a super). I'm interested to know how big he thought tampond were lol.
    Right?! I think my husband thought those Kotex tampons (that the applicators are actually colored) were colored. I was kind of when he said it, lol.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  8. "...now do Classical Gas"
    Matchbox's Avatar
    Matchbox is offline
    "...now do Classical Gas"
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    1,299
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ALil2Naughty View Post
    I'd have to say dh thinking that tampons came color coded. My poor sweet husband!

    What would be the point? By the time we're done with them they're all the same colour anyway

    Quote Originally Posted by kt_bug View Post
    I say if you're gonna be involved in a woman's parts down there you should have some idea of how they work. I'd venture that almost anyone who has witnessed one of these moments has found it rather innocent and endearing. No one is here to say "ugh men are so stupid," it's all in good fun. If you asked for biggest blonde moment I'd be more than happy to contribute.

    P.S. Yes you can pee with a tampon in. The urethra and vagina are separate.
    Thank you Orange is the New Black, for providing the single greatest explanation of human plumbing I think I've ever seen.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=NFvJDM0jlSk

    Quote Originally Posted by kt_bug View Post
    Lol! Wouldn't that be convenient. I took a tampon out of the packaging to show DB because he'd never seen one before and he just went "It's so small!" (I think it was a regular or maybe a super). I'm interested to know how big he thought tampond were lol.
    I usually bring tampons to work (even when I don't need them) because they're so good at staunching cuts in a hurry. It's not as good as a true pit stop at the first aid kit, but it either will give you time to cross the kitchen to reach it or will let you jury-rig a dressing for the cut if the owner is a tightass who hasn't kept the kit stocked.

    Giving an angry, macho little man (a very common species in professional kitchens) a tampon and telling him to put it to use can be HILARIOUS.
  9. Senior Member
    Medic2Doula's Avatar
    Medic2Doula is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,330
    #9
    When we had our first baby, dh was afraid to pick her up/move while holding her. He would have to be set up with pillows all around him, arms in a cradling position and proclaim, "alright! I'm ready!"
    So when I was showering before we were going to leave the hospital with her, she started fussing while she was laying on the bed and he was watching her. He was afraid to pick her up, so he pushed on either side of the inflated mattress and rocked her like that. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever.
    Going on #4 he has gotten so very much better, he throws our kids up in the air like it's nothing (I have to look away) and cuddles newborn babies while making bottles without flinching.
  10. Waiting Around
    Mac N Cheese's Avatar
    Mac N Cheese is offline
    Waiting Around
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    26,418
    Blog Entries
    1
    #10
    Oh dear dh was so confused by the tampon commiercal where the women is going down the water slide. He really thought women can't go swimming during that time of the month
    ❤️❤️❤️
    Follow Rylee's progress

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •