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Thread: Need someone who can relate to what I'm going through

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    #1

    Need someone who can relate to what I'm going through

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    My boyfriend left to basic yesterday and he'll be gone for roughly 2 months. I haven't been away from him for that long ever since we started dating. I'm feeling better than yesterday but it still hurts. I joined here hoping there are people who can help me through this besides my family. They're amazing and all but they don't know exactly how I feel.
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    #2
    I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here. Basic is definitely rough since it's typically the first separation in the relationship and the very limited contact does not help at all. I feel that the first two weeks were the hardest, and trust me things DO get better. I'm not sure that they get easier, but you adapt and learn to endure them more easily. I would say keep busy so the time passes quickly, but honestly I feel that you should use this time rather than count it down. You have all this time to focus on yourself so use it to improve yourself. Maybe set a goal. Like an amount of weight you want to lose before you see him again or a song you want to be able to play by the time he gets out. Feel free to message me if you ever need support, advice, or a listening ear.
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    #3
    Welcome aboard! There are quite a few people who are going through or have gone through what you are dealing with. Stay busy, remember it's temporary and you will be fine.
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    Thank you so much! You're the first person here who is actually being genuine. What you said about focusing on myself actually makes a lot of sense. It'll keep me busy and allow me to grow on my own. I depend on my boyfriend a lot for support because he's the only person who I allow to really know me. Also because I've lost a lot of friends since I moved to Florida and back to Virginia. But again thank you so much for your compassion. It means a lot!
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by DRB031216 View Post
    Thank you so much! You're the first person here who is actually being genuine. What you said about focusing on myself actually makes a lot of sense. It'll keep me busy and allow me to grow on my own. I depend on my boyfriend a lot for support because he's the only person who I allow to really know me. Also because I've lost a lot of friends since I moved to Florida and back to Virginia. But again thank you so much for your compassion. It means a lot!
    I depend on my husband a lot too, so it was extra hard for me when he was in basic. Just remember that you are strong and you can do it even though it will be hard
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    #6
    What branch is he in? My husband went through basic training for the Air Force earlier this year. It's so hard because all communication is cut off except for letters and those take forever to be received. Keep yourself busy, the more you take your mind off of him and how much time you have left, the easier. I know it's easier said than done but two months will go by quicker than you think, I promise! If you plan on going to his graduation, start planning for that! That made me so excited and it helped remind myself that I could get through it! Also, write, write, write! Keep up the positivity and encouragement in your letters. The distance is hard on him as well! You are going through your own basic training now, where your heart longs for him and you feel like the days will never end but oh how they do!!! You got this!
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    #7
    It will get easier! When my husband was in BMT for the Air Force in 2012, our oldest was only 5 months old when he left. It was tough but worth it. Just keep busy! You will find lots of support here!
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    #8

    Neutral Are we on the right path?

    Quote Originally Posted by DRB031216 View Post
    My boyfriend left to basic yesterday and he'll be gone for roughly 2 months. I haven't been away from him for that long ever since we started dating. I'm feeling better than yesterday but it still hurts. I joined here hoping there are people who can help me through this besides my family. They're amazing and all but they don't know exactly how I feel.

    My boyfriend of 3 years also left almost about a week ago. The first day was so tough and I felt like the day was just dragging. After a few days I realized I needed to stop moping around and being sad. I started making plans with friends to help me through this rough time and I got myself very busy at work and school. Although its only the first week, i still get sad and i cry over the clothes that still smell like him or just little things. His parents like to reach out to me and make sure I'm okay and I hope to stop by and see them soon but I don't think I'm ready to go to his house and see that he isn't there anymore. His parents were also in the same situation as we are. His mother told me it's going to be rough but they will be here to support us through it all. We started dating when we were 16 ish and now we're 19. I get a lot of people telling me "you're still so young, go out and have fun!" or " you'll meet other people and don't worry too much about him. " and that is definitely not something I would have liked to hear. Before he left for basic, we had a very serious talk about our relationship. He reassured me many times that he knows he wants to be with me and this is the start of his career and our future. I'm trying to be the supportive girlfriend and I send him letters everyday. It's hard when you don't get letters back as often and we'd like but we have to understand their busy and trying to get acclimated. But I understand that us significant others are not the only ones who are sad or worry about the future. All it takes is patience, trust, and communication. I cannot tell how our future will be after the first deployment and I'm still not 100% sure I can reach these milestones on my own because I am still growing and so is he. It's hard to think that maybe we'll both find someone new but we just hope for the best. Its a two way street and in order for the relationship to work we both need to put in effort to show that we still want this to work. Sometimes I can't help but breakdown and cry because I miss him so much. We talked about marriage however he doesn't want to rush and would like me to finish college first before we get engaged

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