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Thread: Help Please!

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    #1

    Help Please!

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    Hello so I'm a 20 year old male currently enlisted in the Air Force. When I got to my first base I met this amazing girl and we've been together for 9 months. She deployed about a month ago to a safe location and we've been having a lot of problems. When she first left I made a mistake and was mean because I was trying to change something I couldn't change. After that I turned myself around and that's when she started to seem to not care about me. I got short emotionless text messages followed by her being busy and she had to go do something. Ive also found out a couple lies one of ehich involves her going to play pool and smoke with some guy. She said she would fix it but when she tells me what shes going to do she tends to leave out details. Example: the other day she said she was going to a concert but failed to say it would be with four guys and one other girl. If i get upset about anything she instantly snaps at me and when i explain any of my emotions she completely disregards them and puts all blame on me. She only texts me or calls when its convenient for her while I go out of my way everyday to speak to her. Right now I feel like we aren't going to make it. She doesn't show she cares anymore about me. Someone please help!
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by A1cJcS View Post
    Hello so I'm a 20 year old male currently enlisted in the Air Force. When I got to my first base I met this amazing girl and we've been together for 9 months. She deployed about a month ago to a safe location and we've been having a lot of problems. When she first left I made a mistake and was mean because I was trying to change something I couldn't change. After that I turned myself around and that's when she started to seem to not care about me. I got short emotionless text messages followed by her being busy and she had to go do something. Ive also found out a couple lies one of ehich involves her going to play pool and smoke with some guy. She said she would fix it but when she tells me what shes going to do she tends to leave out details. Example: the other day she said she was going to a concert but failed to say it would be with four guys and one other girl. If i get upset about anything she instantly snaps at me and when i explain any of my emotions she completely disregards them and puts all blame on me. She only texts me or calls when its convenient for her while I go out of my way everyday to speak to her. Right now I feel like we aren't going to make it. She doesn't show she cares anymore about me. Someone please help!
    I think you are right. You screwed the pooch there. She made a decision, and has been trying to let you down "easy."

    Save your self some wasted time and pain, and move on.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #3
    You need to have a serious talk with her about your relationship and decide if you both want to continue the relationship. The past is the past, you can't go back and touch it to change it, so why let it continue to touch you in your everyday life? You screwed up, you can't change that now so you, and her for that matter, have to forget about it and move on. Whether that's together or separate. You can't let it affect your everyday life otherwise you can't move forward. She has to decide whether she can forgive you. If your relationship was fine before this mistake and after your mistake your relationship is not fine, then it doesn't seem like she's forgiven you and that's the reason for her being distant.
    My husband made a big mistake when we were just engaged and I had to learn to leave it in the past. It still crosses my mind every now and then but I learned that I can't bring it up everytime we fight, if I did we wouldn't be married right now.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by caljmw649 View Post
    You need to have a serious talk with her about your relationship and decide if you both want to continue the relationship. The past is the past, you can't go back and touch it to change it, so why let it continue to touch you in your everyday life? You screwed up, you can't change that now so you, and her for that matter, have to forget about it and move on. Whether that's together or separate. You can't let it affect your everyday life otherwise you can't move forward. She has to decide whether she can forgive you. If your relationship was fine before this mistake and after your mistake your relationship is not fine, then it doesn't seem like she's forgiven you and that's the reason for her being distant.
    My husband made a big mistake when we were just engaged and I had to learn to leave it in the past. It still crosses my mind every now and then but I learned that I can't bring it up everytime we fight, if I did we wouldn't be married right now.


    Good luck with everything!
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    #5
    I think she is doing what she can to get you to break up with her. It seems as if you messed up and she has not gotten over it but doesn't know how or want to break up with you but instead wants you to break up with her.

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