Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Feeling a little in over my head...

  1. Fresh Newbie
    rachelp's Avatar
    rachelp is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    7
    #1

    Confused Feeling a little in over my head...

    Advertisements
    So...

    I don't even know if I'm in the right place.. But I'm looking for some advice/help on this whole situation...

    Basically, I'm Irish living in Ireland with little to no real knowledge of the military life.. Almost a year ago I met (online) pretty much my dream man and we haven't stopped talking since. In November I made the 4000 mile trip to see him before he went on his first deployment to the desert.. And now a month into that and us talking about future plans all he seems to talk about is more deployments.... I mean he's on month 1 of 12 where he is and he's talking about the next one... The plan is for early 2016 we will finally get to be together and he already wants to go away 6 months after that..
    I know his job is REALLY important to him and I 100% respect that to the best of my ability BUT its a little hard trying to get my head around the fact and feeling that my relationship is going to be part-time..

    Am I being crazy and selfish? Or is it my lack of understanding being a non-American that doesn't quite get it?
  2. we were all rooting for you
    KittenMittens's Avatar
    KittenMittens is offline
    we were all rooting for you
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    6,675
    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by rachelp View Post
    So...

    I don't even know if I'm in the right place.. But I'm looking for some advice/help on this whole situation...

    Basically, I'm Irish living in Ireland with little to no real knowledge of the military life.. Almost a year ago I met (online) pretty much my dream man and we haven't stopped talking since. In November I made the 4000 mile trip to see him before he went on his first deployment to the desert.. And now a month into that and us talking about future plans all he seems to talk about is more deployments.... I mean he's on month 1 of 12 where he is and he's talking about the next one... The plan is for early 2016 we will finally get to be together and he already wants to go away 6 months after that..
    I know his job is REALLY important to him and I 100% respect that to the best of my ability BUT its a little hard trying to get my head around the fact and feeling that my relationship is going to be part-time..

    Am I being crazy and selfish? Or is it my lack of understanding being a non-American that doesn't quite get it?
    When you get a chance, pop over to the newbies section and post an introduction thread. We'd love to get to know you more!

    I'm a Brit dating an American, so I completely understand your position. Learning about the military over here has been a lot to take in! I personally don't think you're being selfish. When my DB was deployed last year, he'd constantly talk about his next deployments or long trainings. I'd get really upset by it because I wasn't ready to hear it, or to learn that he'd be going away again.. The worst bit was that he was never sure where exactly he'd be going and would tell me a million different possibilities! A big part of it is that you have to learn that nothing is ever set in stone with the military. I've learned that quite often DB doesn't know what he's doing until he's already there

    Now, I'm at the point where I've accepted that we don't know where he'll be for the next 14 months (until his contract is up) and it gives me less anxiety. I became less worried because I told my DB I didn't want to know about future trainings/deployments until it was official. He used to tell me all the rumours and that would make me so anxious! I don't like worrying/thinking about our future separations - I know they're going to happen, but I don't want to worry myself sick if I don't even know where he's going. The rumour mill is so unreliable. When I know where he's officially going and for (approximately, of course) how long, I can better prepare myself mentally and emotionally.

    PS super jealous that you're anywhere near a M&S. Enjoy some Percy Pigs for me

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •