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Thread: Universal Laws

  1. The name says it all!
    ALil2Naughty's Avatar
    ALil2Naughty is offline
    The name says it all!
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    Mar 2010
    Loki's chambers


    Giggle Universal Laws

    Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

    Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

    Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.

  2. Senior Member
    Desmond4Daphne's Avatar
    Desmond4Daphne is offline
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    I love these!!! The Law of Result happened to me last week when the man came to fix the boiler... It mysteriously started working before he arrived..

    And Oliver's Law is brilliant!!
  3. Senior Member
    ArmyCupcake's Avatar
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    Nice so much truth.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Pina's Avatar
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    Canada / North Dakota

    Transit Bus Law : As soon as you light your last cigarette, that bus will arrive. (I haven't smoked in decades, but I know this law is still in effect, lol)
    A.K.A. missstick
  5. missing my sanity
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    Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

  6. Senior Member
    ducky23's Avatar
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    Those are so so true!!
    No more countdown! He's home!!

    "We don't cry because we are weak, but because we have been strong for too long"
  7. Senior Member
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    Variation true. Never fails.
  8. Senior Member
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    The carpet law...the bread always lands jelly side down... ( reminds me of old buddist saying....cats always land feet down. Bread always lands butter side down. What happens if you butter back of cat...?
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  9. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
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    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
    Yup. Especially happens when I take a cell phone into the sprint store

  10. Banned
    Oliver's Avatar
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    Mar 2012
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    I have my own law! I'm so cool
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