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Thread: RANT! (long post)

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    #1

    Mad RANT! (long post)

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    I love my friends, dearly, but sometimes they can be so damn ignorant!! None of them have been in long distance relationships, or have any idea about military life. To give them some credit, until DB joined the military, I had no clue either. They ask a lot of really cute and sweet questions most the time about military life and what it's like. They also ask a lot of questions that are based on stereotypes, and sometimes this starts to annoy me. They assume things like, people in the military are uneducated, people in the military are hicks and therefore racist, people in the military are all pro-war and right-wings nuts, etc. I usually can brush these questions off with a smile and simple explanation.

    However, I have one friend who is currently living in Asia and who's boyfriend is back here and does know what it's like to do the whole long distance thing. We've been corresponding via email throughout her being there to keep in touch etc. This girl is really a sweet person and means well... but the last email she sent me drove me over the wall!!!! To give you a little background, about a week prior to said email she wrote this to me:

    "omg so i started watching army wives... and ive become obsessed! i finished the first 4 seasons in a week!"



    Cool cool. The show is entertaining, I get it. I've watched it too. Cue in this weeks email (excuse the horrible grammar):


    "its too bad hes deploying again so soon... when is he ever gonna be done with the army! so you guys can like get married and stuff... i hope you dont become one of those army wives where you have to live on post and live in a small house and like not be able to have a good career haha jk"


    Where do I start? Oh.. I know!

    1. JUST BECAUSE YOU WATCH ARMY WIVES DOES NOT MEAN YOU UNDERSTAND MY LIFE

    2. DB is, and has always been, in the Air Force- since we became friends. He lives on base, not post. But hey, if you are going to ignorantly stereotype our future together, who cares about what branch he is in, right?

    3. No Army wife "ha(s)" to live on post in a small house. Have you been onto base? Because the houses I've been in have actually been really sweet. Sure they aren't the $3 million+ Vancouver homes you're used to, but cut yourself a slice of humble pie and go beyond the superficiality of how large a house is and see that to have a home at all is a blessing.

    4. And as far as my future career goes. First of all, it is my choice what I become, and if I want to become a housewife then maybe that's exactly what I'll do (maybe even in a small house, *gasp* God forbid!!). In my opinion, a "shitty job" is one that the person is unhappy in. That could mean you work at burger king, or that could mean you're a lawyer making $500,000 a year. If you aren't happy, then you have a shitty job.. and I, my friend, will never put myself in a position where I am doing something that makes me unhappy.

    END Rant.

    UPDATE EDIT:
    Ladies, we are all in the same boat. I understand that there is sacrifice involved with the relationships we have chosen.

    However, I am saying that I will not allow myself to have a "crappy job" and sacrifice my happiness in that sense. Never was moving, relocating, etc discussed in the OP.

    As far as the stereotype went, I felt like she took a tv show, Army Wives, and replaced me and my DB with the characters in it, as if our lives were interchangeable with exaggerated and fictional characters. This frustrated me because she is my friend, and she knows me better than that.

    Yes, I agree, her not knowing that my DB in in the Air Force and not the Army is not that big of a deal.

    The reason I made this post on here first was not to be shot down, but to vent.While I understand that by posting on MSOS I open the forum for all sorts of opinions and comments. Sometimes though, there's a nice way of telling someone that they are overeating. A few of you have done that, and given me really great constructive feedback/advice. So, thank you to you ladies who helped me.

    Last edited by KelseyLauren; 12-03-2011 at 06:27 PM.
  2. I stand on golden sands and watch as the ships go by
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    #2
    I'm sorry I have had people say dumb stuff to me to, sometimes you just have to let it roll off your shoulders.
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    #3
    I don't understand why you're getting so upset over this. It seems like she is genuinely happy for you and your DB. I think you really need to calm down about it. She clearly has your best interest at heart.

    I don't know the difference between post/base. I'm not sure why that offended you so much.
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    #4
    It is a legitimate concern for a lot of military wives that they have to sacrifice a career. And not all base housing is hunky dory. I wouldn't get so upset over what she said. No it doesn't have to be that way, but it can be and she's just concerned about you.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by FunnyLove View Post
    I'm sorry I have had people say dumb stuff to me to, sometimes you just have to let it roll off your shoulders.
    I know, and usually I do. I'm just in a crappy mood today and needed to vent!! I feel so much better after typing that out!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots View Post
    It is a legitimate concern for a lot of military wives that they have to sacrifice a career. And not all base housing is hunky dory. I wouldn't get so upset over what she said. No it doesn't have to be that way, but it can be and she's just concerned about you.
    I don't see why anyone has to sacrifice anything.

    But yes, I guess she was genuinely concerned. I just thought it was superficial to be concerned about how big my house is, or what "type" of wife I'll become.

    I'm sick of my friends putting us military folk into one giant stereotype! As you can see by the comments posted, we're all very unique and individual! haha
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    #7
    I get where you're coming from. I get in moods like that where I get upset or mad over the silliest things. Things that normally dont phase me or I just roll off my back. It sounds to me like you need a time out in a bubble bath & a good book.
  8. I stand on golden sands and watch as the ships go by
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by HeartShapedBox View Post
    I don't understand why you're getting so upset over this. It seems like she is genuinely happy for you and your DB. I think you really need to calm down about it. She clearly has your best interest at heart.

    I don't know the difference between post/base I'm not sure why that offended you so much.
    There not really a diffrence just the Army calls their base a "post" and the Navy/Marines call it a "base"
    xhis_anchorx is my B.A.M.F wifey
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    #9
    I don't see that as being 'ignorant'. It's unfair to expect someone who does not have any sort of experience with the military to know every little fine detail about it. We all started from there. Just politely correct her and move on.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Bmason0226 View Post
    I get where you're coming from. I get in moods like that where I get upset or mad over the silliest things. Things that normally dont phase me or I just roll off my back. It sounds to me like you need a time out in a bubble bath & a good book.
    yes, very good idea. Before I get wrapped up on here. Maybe this wasn't the best place to post this rant as obviously people will disagree with my opinion and therefore I'll just get more annoyed hahaha.

    Thank you for the suggestion,

    - Silly stress bag
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