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Thread: Advice, for getting over an ex DB?

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    #1

    Confused Advice, for getting over an ex DB?

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    We broke up just this past Sunday. I love him very much and he said that he still loves me but can't give me what I want. Even though that's not true. I just don't know how to deal with it. It's the 2nd time we broke up so I think subconcousiously I'm holding on. Hoping that he'll come back around again. But he hasn't made any contact whatsoever. So part of me believes that it's really over. And I want to reach out to him but I'm not sure that, that would be a good idea. Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated. Even though he shattered my heart I still love him with every ounce of my being and want to be in his life. Is that crazy? He's hurt me so deeply yet I know that he's a good person and I want to be his friend. Am I setting myself up for more pain? Should I reach out to him or leave it be?
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    #2
    You aren't crazy, mourning the loss of a relationship is normal. It's not easy and I know that first hand, I'm going on 1 month post break up with exDB and it's still hard. But I think that the best thing I did was stop contact. If there is one thing I learned from "He's just not that into you" it's if he's breaking up with you he's not that into you. It's a hard realization but an off and on relationship isn't healthy and if this is the second time you need to consider that it may just not work out.

    I know it's hard, I'm always here for support if you need me.


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    #3
    I personally believe that you need to give yourself time to heal. You are obviously very hurt by this breakup, and I personally would not suggest reaching out just yet. He made need his "space" right now, as do a lot of guys. It's only natural for you to hold on and hope that he will come back.
    Every girl goes through that. You just need time to heal for you. You need time to pick yourself back up again and stay strong.
    Get yourself out of the house, have a girl's night, do things with your family. Surround yourself with people that love and support you and you'll find this process easier. It is still going to hurt but with time it gets better.

    Take it day by day hun.

    I'm always here if you need to talk.

    Married my MSOS Wifey Fedface3266 9/24/10
  4. I'm sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.
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    #4
    i'm going on a year since my big heart break. it gets a lot easier, trust me. you'll find happiness again within yourself. but part of me believes i'll always carry a certain sadness for my ex and as much as he hurt and betrayed me, a part of me will ALWAYS care about him. that's part of being human. give yourself some time and don't be so difficult on yourself. these things take awhile. the best thing you can do is just surround yourself with people who love you and just throw yourself into school/work/other passions. it sucks but it gets better




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    #5
    Thank you. The first time around one of my close friends quoted "He's Just Not that Into You" as well. Haha. We never had a chance to really spend time together. Of the almost 6 months that we were together it was apart. The last time I saw him was the end of May. I was going to visit him in NM where he is training but I didn't have the money to do so and he had just bought a new car. So that didn't work out. When he wanted to get back together he promised me everything. I had started dating someone else (to get over him which is another mistake in itself ) but he came back into my life and I let the new guy go so I could be with him. Our problem was his communication skills. The first time he felt like we were falling for each other too fast and so he closed himself off which is why I broke us up because I couldn't handle him isolating me. This second time I know that he's tried. He would open up and be very loving and he even fell in love with me before I fell in love with him. But than a few weeks after he would shut me off again and we would argue and he would again open up but again he would shut off again. Which is why he says that he can't give me what I want but he has. I asked him what makes him change back but he says that he doesn't know. The worst part of it is that he's probably going to be back in about a week or so. I keep thinking why couldn't we hold on for just a little longer? Than we would get to spend the time that we need to make things great. But maybe we're the lovers in Mockingbird by Rob Thomas. Sorry for the word vomit...
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    #6
    I had a huge heart break a little over two years ago in May, and it takes a while to get over it. Especially if you really loved that person. Give yourself lots of time, and do what makes YOU feel better. Don't let others tell you what your grieving period should be like. It's different for every one.
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    #7
    Time. Time is the only answer.
  8. No longer seeing where it goes, I'm in the driver's seat.
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    #8
    I agree with the others! I too am newly single. I'm mostly over the version of him I was dating, but seeing places that went to at the beginning has been hard. I've ended up crying every time. There are some who don't understand the "is he ok" mentality, but you will ALWAYS care about him. In the end do what's best for you.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Whitney. View Post
    i'm going on a year since my big heart break. it gets a lot easier, trust me. you'll find happiness again within yourself. but part of me believes i'll always carry a certain sadness for my ex and as much as he hurt and betrayed me, a part of me will ALWAYS care about him. that's part of being human. give yourself some time and don't be so difficult on yourself. these things take awhile. the best thing you can do is just surround yourself with people who love you and just throw yourself into school/work/other passions. it sucks but it gets better
    Thank you. You're so right. I'm just so impatient. I like to get things done and I know it takes time but I just wish I could wish it all away. I've been throwing myself into work and not enough into school. Haha. Kind of falling behind on that. Oh, guess where he's from?
  10. I'm sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.
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    #10
    jacksonville...?




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