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Thread: booty call agreement

  1. ive never been so alone, and ive never been so alive
    miraluu's Avatar
    miraluu is offline
    ive never been so alone, and ive never been so alive
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    #1

    Giggle booty call agreement

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    BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

    This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")
    is entered into on the ___6TH__ day of ______AUGUST____, 2009,
    by_______________________, between ____________ and ______________. THIS
    AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

    1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the
    morning.

    2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the
    evening.

    3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

    4. None of that "lovemaking" crap - only mind-blowing sex allowed.

    5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Do you love me? Where are we heading with
    this?) The answer is: "No and nowhere, so don't ask."

    6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
    unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
    arrangement.

    7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

    8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

    9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your
    damn business.

    10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" - we are not friends,
    just sex buddies.

    11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

    12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when
    you leave.

    13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up and go
    home.

    14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

    15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

    16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
    roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

    17. Doggie style preferred - just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!

    18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.

    19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME - so don't keep
    calling.

    20. The most important one - no condoms, no sex. Carry your ass home.

    21. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

    22. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your
    ass.

    23. If you see me out in public don't approach me if I am with anyone of the
    opposite sex or my friends.

    24. No, I am not going to baby sit.

    25. You only get one chance, if you cancel or refuse when called upon, you
    will drop into suspension. The second offense you are removed from the List.

    26. No biting, scratching, hickies, or marks.

    27. If you want something specific sexually, speak up my crystal ball is
    broken.

    28. No, don't bring a video camera. This isn't a movie for distribution.

    29. If I wanted to hear about your day, your problems, your last bad date or
    wanted your opinion, I would actually speak to you more often. Don't tell me
    shit unless I ask. Don't hold your breath waiting for that either.

    30. Don't assume shit, you are just going to piss me off.

    *EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The above rules may only be altered
    by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or
    alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and
    void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from
    phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all
    communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

    Issuing Party's Name_________________________
    Date:______________________________________ Participating Party's
    Signature__________________ Date:______________________________________
    "Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed, when the ocean met the sky. "
  2. Account Closed
    LoveKiss's Avatar
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    #2
    Where was that when I was a slut back in the day?
  3. Account Closed
    Truegrits81's Avatar
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by LoveKiss View Post
    Where was that when I was a slut back in the day?
    Pretty much
  4. Senior Member
    fallinstar's Avatar
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    #4
    I totally love this! loves it!
  5. Formerly Soldierswifey25
    ForeverYours's Avatar
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    #5
    That's been out for a while I actually made my husband fill it out when we 1st met but just as a joke lol.

    There are a couple of revised ones to.
  6. lucky im in love with my best friend
    pinknpretty4564's Avatar
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    lucky im in love with my best friend
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    #6
  7. Instigator Extraordinaire
    louisa85's Avatar
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    #7
    Keep on keeping on.

  8. Account Closed
    LoveKiss's Avatar
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by louisa85 View Post
  9. ive never been so alone, and ive never been so alive
    miraluu's Avatar
    miraluu is offline
    ive never been so alone, and ive never been so alive
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    #9
    Haha I'm so making guys fill this out. Their dumb asses just don't get the ground rules
    "Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed, when the ocean met the sky. "
  10. Account Closed
    *EmAzing*'s Avatar
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    #10
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