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Thread: Today's texts from last night

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    #1

    Today's texts from last night

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    Which ones cracked you up lately?

    This one is hilarious:

    (305): She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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    #2
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    #3
    (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

    (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

    (870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"


    (353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
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    #4
    I waste too much of my life on this website. The Johnny Depp one cracks me up too.
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    #5
    uh oh!

    (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
  6. I'm sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLady View Post
    (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLady View Post
    (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLady View Post
    (870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLady View Post
    (353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head




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    #7
    I love these!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by TexasLady View Post
    (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

    (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

    (870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"


    (353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

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