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Thread: Ah the battles between husbands and wives!

  1. I'm a dirty martini! ;)
    OliveJuice's Avatar
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    #1

    Giggle Ah the battles between husbands and wives!

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    WOMEN'S REVENGE

    'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman
    wished to purchase.

    As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a
    television set in her purse.

    'So, do you u always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

    'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
    legally..'
    ___________

    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles ..

    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife..

    She directs him down the correct aisle.

    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

    She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

    He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of
    tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
    ___________

    WIFE VS. HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

    the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

    'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
    ___________

    WORDS

    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day....30,000 to a man's 15,000.

    The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
    ___________

    CREATION

    A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

    'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
    ___________

    The Silent Treatment

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

    Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

    The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'

    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests!
  2. Dreams come true... I am living mine
    Kris's Avatar
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    Dreams come true... I am living mine
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    #2
    LMAO I love it
    DREAMS CAN COME TRUE
  3. kasey shack's Avatar
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    =]
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    #3

  4. lucky im in love with my best friend
    pinknpretty4564's Avatar
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    lucky im in love with my best friend
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    #4
    those are funny
  5. Account Closed
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    #5
    I love the "Wife vs. Husband" and "The Silent Treatment".
  6. I'm a dirty martini! ;)
    OliveJuice's Avatar
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    #6
    Oh they are ALL my favorites! I couldn't stop laughing and thinking to myself "Yep, I'd probably react that way too!"
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    .
    Last edited by Ines; 01-11-2010 at 12:55 AM.
    Long Distance Pal to belovedreamery
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    The last one is awesome!
  9. ~M*A*R*I*E~
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    ~M*A*R*I*E~
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    #9
    I those jokes!
    NO MORE TICKER! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS HOME FOR GOOD
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    love those
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