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Thread: Bodily function. Profanity.

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    Bodily function. Profanity.

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    So. We were on patrol a few days ago. We're in baghdad, and we roll in the MRAPs. I'm a medic, so I'm reading some of my medic books. There is nothing for me to do in a patrol that is going fine and we've been blessed with no problems so far.

    So we're on mounted patrol through our "OE," and I'm stone dead asleep. I have slept through explosions, gunfire, almost rolling the MRAP.. etc. I can sleep through damn near anything.

    I wake up to a terrible smell, even for a country where sewer isn't really contained and trash is thrown into the streets. I also wake up to the sgt in the back of the truck with me saying "Holy shit, your ass reeks so bad you woke doc up!"

    The following conversation starts:

    Gunner: "I really have to shit."
    Sgt: "Like.. right now?"
    G: "Right now."
    S: "Seriously, right now?"
    G: "NOW."
    S: "Want me to get in the gun for you?"
    G: "PLEASE."

    So they trade places. The gunner climbs down in a rush, falling into everyone and everything, tripping until he gets to the back of the MRAP, about 8 feet from where he was. He then takes a trash bag, drops his pants to his ankles and begins to crap into the bag while we keep patrolling.

    The TC calls this up on platoon net. "Be advised, we have one gunner shitting into a trash bag in the back of the truck."

    After the gunner is done, he cleans up and ties the bag off, then switches places with the sgt that had relieved him.

    S: "Oh my god! It smelled better out there!"
    The gunner climbs back into his spot. The sgt sits down and looks to where the gunner is moving in time to see the shit at the bottom of the trash bag as he pulled it up and out of the truck.

    When I look back to the sgt, he's starting to vomit. So we give him a trash bag, too. He vomits for about 30 seconds, and we hand that bag up as well.

    I laughed so hard I cried.
  2. BJo
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    #2
    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
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    #3
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    #4
    That's an amazing story. Keep that one for the kids.
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    #5
    very interesting....
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    #7
    okay, for some reason that made me laugh a little... still gross.
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    #8
    LMAO!!! nice story!!!
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