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Thread: Not always

  1. Senior Member
    Southern-queen's Avatar
    Southern-queen is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    Not always

    New funny submissions.....

    Gestapo, Taco, Same Difference
    Retail | UK

    (I work in a retail store that sells kind of quirky and alternative items. As it is nearing Christmas, I was doing the gift-wrapping while a co-worker was ringing up items.)

    Lady: *hands a mug*

    Me: *begins giftwrapping the mug* “Nothing to it. Just
    like wrapping a tortilla!

    Lady: “What would you know about tortillas? You’re blonde!”

    Me: “Well, my mother loves–”

    Lady: “Shut up! You blondes think you’re so much better than everyone else! You’re not! You need everyone else to do all the work for you! You’re all useless, and you’ll never be the master race!”

    Me: “Erm…”

    Lady: *pays and storms out*
    OK seriously...someone has some angry issues against blondes. That or they are really stupid lol.

    His Bigness Is None Of Your Business
    Fabric Store | Texas, USA

    Me: “Hello this is ***, *** speaking, how may I assist you?”

    Customer: “Ah, hello. I was just wondering… you see, I run an adult dance club outside of town.You know, with male strippers and such.”

    Me: “… uh huh.”

    Customer: ”Well, we order our clothing through a store usually, on the internet. But I have a new man and we need some clothes for him and he’s… large.”

    Me: “… uh… huh?”

    Customer: “Well he… he’s very large.”

    Me: “Um, well… what.. was your question?”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I was wondering what kind of fabric you might recommend for a someone in our business.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, I would think something black. We have some see-through stuff. I might suggest a shimmer see through fabric. We have some of those…”

    Customer: “Oh good, good. Well, how much fabric do you think we’d need?”

    Me: “Well, it depends on his size. If you take some measurements, I can–”

    Customer: “Well, the thing is… it’s his… his business. Can I tell you about his business…?”

    Me: “Go ahead…”

    Customer: ”He is 12 inches long and three inches wide. Three inches! Have you ever heard of such a thing!”

    Me: “No, can’t say I have…”

    Customer: ”Three inches wide! I didn’t even know they made them that wide. Do you know anyone like that? That long and that wide?”

    Me: “Uh… well, my friend is… I’ve never seen him… but his girlfriend tells me he’s… exceptionally… long.”

    Customer: “Oh? Your friend?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “But you’ve never seen it?”

    Me: *inwardly wanting to die* “No.”

    Customer: “Would he be interested in exotic male dancing?”

    Me: “Let’s focus on the fabrics. So you want to know how much you’ll need. Now, I can’t see you needing more than two yards in total. Probably less.”

    Customer: “And that will cover his business…?”

    Me: “That… will cover… his business.”

    Customer: ”Because he’s big. Now your friend, how did you say you knew he was so big?”

    Me: “Okay… you know what? I’m terribly sorry but my job isn’t to recruit my friends for an exotic dance club. Why don’t you measure your man, bring me the measurements and I will show you how much you need.”

    Customer: “Now, is he a black man?”

    Me: “Thanks for your call… goodbye.” *click*
    Hows that for awkward. Discussing a penis of a random stranger and that of a friend.
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
    *Emma*'s Avatar
    *Emma* is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    LOL!! soooo awkward in that last scenario!!

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