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Thread: Funny quotes

  1. Banned
    Lizim1981's Avatar
    Lizim1981 is offline
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    #1

    Funny quotes

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    The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

    Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

    I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

    The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

    Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

    What you call dog with no legs?
    Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

    "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

    You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

    Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

    Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

    I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

    Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin

    I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush

    When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

    "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
  2. The grass is greener where it gets watered.
    Sarah.'s Avatar
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    #2


    I random funny quotes!

    Thanks for sharing!
    “In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!” ― Dr. Seuss
  3. Uh-Lawn-Uh
    AlannaCodi's Avatar
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Lizim1981 View Post
    Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
  4. Yup... you STILL suck!
    Sugar Butt's Avatar
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    Yup... you STILL suck!
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    #4
    those are awesome

    The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. ~André Gide
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    YEAH DUCT TAPE! Amazing.
    Gotta look this life in the eye.
  6. who will drive my soul?
    OMG it's Andrea!'s Avatar
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    who will drive my soul?
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    #6
    www.acoan.scentsy.us
    www.andreacoan.blogspot.com
  7. Account Closed
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    #7
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    Love 'em.
    ★RagaBabe Cloth Diapers Grand Opening www.ragababe.com

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