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Thread: it was kinda funny

  1. lord help us all!
    FuzzyToaster's Avatar
    FuzzyToaster is offline
    lord help us all!
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    #1

    it was kinda funny

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    You know that you have been in Iraq too long when…

    1. You call your CHU home.





    2. The girl/guy that was a 2 is now a 10.





    3. You use words like "roger", "negative", and "say again" in normal conversation.





    4.



    You go home for vacation

    5. The girl with the hairy legs and upper lip is the hot one.





    6. Card board boxes are your desk.





    7. You're over 20 years old and sleeping in a bunk bed.





    8. You buy a DVD with 5 movies on it for $5 and feel like you got ripped off.





    9. You don't pause your game because of mortars.





    10. You lose weight because "I just can't eat that again.





    11. You never know what day it is.





    12. Getting a good meal involves a mile long hike.





    13. You get called a hippie because your hair is 1 inch long.





    14. You're happy when it's ONLY 110 degrees.





    15. Going to the bathroom involves shoes, a flashlight, and body armor.





    16. Seeing a tank roll past is no longer cool.





    17. All your clothes look the same.





    18. You don't fix the hole in the crotch of your pants because "it's good ventilation.





    19. You walk into a store with a rifle and nobody cares.





    20. Your family knows what's going on before you do.





    21. Everything you own fits in a 3 foot by 3 foot area.





    22. 80 degrees is cold.





    23. A man in a dress doesn't seem wierd.





    24. Good sleep is 5 hours.





    25. Someone gets shot and you're mad because now the phones will be down.





    26. You've read more books in 3 months than you did in the rest of your life.





    27. You're so bored that you hope someone will start shooting at you today.





    28. You can't pronounce your interpreter's name, so you call him "Bob".





    29. You wish that the guy you're searching ONLY had B.O.





    30. You hear a boom and you know if it was a mortar or a rocket.





    31. After almost being hit by a mortar, you and your buddy start laughing.





    32. Half of the people you meet are named "Muhammed" or "Ali.





    33. You catch three of your buddies watching "The Notebook", and without making fun of them, you sit down and watch.





    34. You shower with shoes on.





    35. You're so bored that you don't stop your buddy from telling a story that you've already heard 10 times this week.





    36. The snoring around you is "soothing".





    37. Listening to the radio is less important than watching the fly strip.





    38. The mouse in your area is now a pet.





    39. You buy Gold Bond powder in bulk.





    40. You can tell the difference between American and Iraqi Pepsi.





    41. You hear a familiar rap song, but you don't understand the words.





    42. You bet on when and where the next rocket will hit.





    43. You feel naked without your rifle.





    44. You buy a Rolex that's not a Rolex on purpose.





    45. You're happy because you get to shoot at a tailgater.





    46. Your favorite food is Cup 'O Noodle.





    47. You haven't seen a cloud in months.





    48. Your buddies help shave each other's backs.





    49. You dream in night vision.





    50. The last time you were home you didn't have kids.





    51. All you see are trash drifts instead of snow drifts.





    52. If you have ever said, "It's not that bad here.





    53. Farting is a contest.





    54. Everyone you don't know calls you "Mister".





    55. You don't notice the 40 lbs of body armor anymore.





    56. You know what a "Hesco" is.





    57. Privacy is a sheet.





    58. You see an E-7 working.





    59. A plate that holds food is the "hook-up".





    60. You dress up for Halloween in your normal clothes.





    61. You spend large sums of money to buy your favorite TV shows on DVD.





    62. You rely on the food you get in packages you get from home for survival.





    63. All your white socks are now tan.





    64. You go to the Port-O-John to get away from the smell outside.





    65. You wear your clothes for four days to save on wash time.





    66. You know your friends by smell.





    67. The sight of a man's naked but is no longer alarming.





    68.



    You have ever yelled, "Who took the last can of Beanie-Weenies?"

    69. You don't need an interpreter to understand your interpreter.





    70. You will put your life on the line to get a good picture.





    71. You buy an Airsoft pistol because the Army won't give you a real one.





    72. You have huge speakers that you never use.





    73. Your wife/husband asks you what time it is there and you answer, "Twenty-one hundred.





    74. You really would kill for Burger King.





    75. The last forest you were in was a camo net.





    76. You set booby traps for the foxes in your area.





    77. You take bets on what gridline the next IED will explode.





    78. When it feels good to patrol the MSR just to get off the FOB.





    80.



    You forget there are other colors than brown that can be found in places other than power point slides

    81.



    You enjoy the audience commentary while watching a movie bought at Haji mart

    82.



    When you can actually talk to people in the United States on a cell phone, yet you can't get people on their cell phone a block away

    83.



    When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"

    84.



    When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus

    85.



    You make the new guy show you his count down timer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country

    86. You have noticed a change of season, from long, hot and dry to short, cold and wet.





    87.



    When you end every phone conversation with "Out"

    88.



    When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar


    89.



    When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service


    90.



    You see an indirect fire attack take out a generator and get angry at the enemy for hitting the one that powers your computer

    91.



    You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed

    92.



    You laugh at FNG's for actually taking cover when the incoming alarm goes off

    93.



    You are talking with your buddies and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation

    94. You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110.





    95. If you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres state side you are disappointed.





    96. Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "water cooler talk".





    97.



    Your carry-on luggage includes an IBA and Kevlar

    98.


    It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out of the faucets

    99.



    You know ten times as many South Africans as you've ever known before

    100.



    Powdered eggs taste ok

    101.



    Going to a different chow hall than your usual is an adventure

    102.



    You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas

    103.



    You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end

    104. Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper.





    105. Acronyms become the acceptable language.





    106. It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call.





    107. You call your coworkers as soon as new T-shirt patterns arrive at the PX.





    108. "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations.





    109.



    Your conversations with co-workers are sprinkled with "Roger that" and "Good copy"

    110.



    When you go home for R&R and get dressed to go to the bathroom that is 5 feet away

    111.



    You no longer sweat when its 90 degrees outside

    112.You need an AER loan to buy minutes for your phone.





    113.You can pour a bottle of water that was outside all day into your Cup Noodles and it'll be done in 1 minute.





    114.You miss "Wild Tiger's" when you go on R&R.





    115.Buying a Microwave or fridge is the best thing that ever happend to you here.





    116.Rip-Its are a part of life.





    117.Miami Cig's taste good.





    118.People react faster when the PX has Hot Pockets than a Brushfire Drill.





    119.Halal Meals taste better than the Chow Hall.





    120."Stewed Mutton with Rice" is you favorite Halal.





    121."Zaboon" has many forms of entertainment.





    122.You never knew how much fun you can have with a bar of soap.





    123.The burn Barrel is the funnest part of you day.





    124.The birds are having more sex than you are.





    125.Malboro Smooths or Camel Frosts are GOLDEN.





    126.Chuck Norris still rules the shitter walls.





    127.



    "Bucio is Gay" is EVERYWHERE!!!!!

    128.All your advanced cold weather gear is Unauthorized.





    129.Rules last only 4 days.





    130.You speak words of arabic unknowlingly.





    131.Rumors are everywhere.





    132.



    You go to work and part of the changeover brief is "The internet is up"

    133. Zeroing your M16 or M4 is based on if you can shoot a white piece of Copy paper.





    134. You go to a weapons qual range, and take a record PT test in a Combat Zone.





    135.


    Everyone who never went to the gym before starts buying all the supplements from the PX
  2. I can work the google on the internet machine!
    shellbellwillis's Avatar
    shellbellwillis is offline
    I can work the google on the internet machine!
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    #2
    Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.- Days of Thunder(Nicole Kidman)
  3. You are here.
    Frybread's Avatar
    Frybread is offline
    You are here.
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    #3
    lol the Can you hear me now....yep

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