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Thread: 29 lines to make you lol

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    29 lines to make you lol

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    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11 NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18. Procrastinate Now!
    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    26. Ham and eggs? A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig
    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


    "And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever."~ John Tyree
  2. Mama of 2 beautiful boys!
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    #2
    Haha Thanks for sharing!
  3. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
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    #3
  4. Friendly Neighborhood Fabric Pimp
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    #4
    that was lol! Im stealing #27 for my siggy!
  5. Dreams come true... I am living mine
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    #5
    LOL
    DREAMS CAN COME TRUE
  6. Formerly "Chels"
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    #6
    hahaha
  7. 웃♥유
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    #7
  8. Account Closed
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    #8
  9. hesdmk
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    #9
    lol
  10. Senior Member
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    #10
    this line 'God must love stupid people; He made so many' knocked me sideways


    "And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever."~ John Tyree
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