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Thread: The Worst Books

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    #1

    The Worst Books

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    We have lists about what we're reading. We have lists about what we think everyone else should be reading because it's good. But what about the books that are just plain BAD?

    Have you read something terrible? Warn the rest of us away from it, spare us the pain and suffering and the urge to throw the bad book at the wall.

    Case in point, List of the Lost by Morrissey (yes, THAT Morrissey) is...wow. WOW, it's awful. It's almost a work of art in its terribleness.

    "Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone..."
    That's a sex scene. That's something he legitimately thought would sound erotic. Barrel-rolling breasts.

    ...are they having sex in a tumble dryer?!
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    Twilight and 50 Shades. Fuck that shit. Neither series should have even been written.
  3. we were all rooting for you
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    also lololol at barrel rolling boobies.
  4. "...now do Classical Gas"
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    Quote Originally Posted by KittenMittens View Post
    Twilight and 50 Shades. Fuck that shit. Neither series should have even been written.
    I got through Twilight, with difficulty. I had to be restrained from torching Fifty Shades.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    I got through Twilight, with difficulty. I had to be restrained from torching Fifty Shades.
    Well, we all know women are worthless until a man comes along...
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    Quote Originally Posted by KittenMittens View Post
    Well, we all know women are worthless until a man comes along...
    Excuse you, it has to be the right kind of man. Only a troubled billionaire with a big dick will do. I keep telling my husband to find me one, but he's just not trying hard enough
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Excuse you, it has to be the right kind of man. Only a troubled billionaire with a big dick will do. I keep telling my husband to find me one, but he's just not trying hard enough
    Or he can be a *~sparkly*~ vampire. Which, by the way, is total bullshit, because vampires are supposed to fucking catch fire in the sun, not turn into disco balls.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by KittenMittens View Post
    Twilight and 50 Shades. Fuck that shit. Neither series should have even been written.
    I fucking loved twilight I read all four books over spring break after I watched the movies. They're fantastically terrible but I liked them.


    a book I would never ever ever recommend is Old Man and the Sea, it made me want to gouge my eyes out. Probably because it was assigned, but even still.


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    Quote Originally Posted by KittenMittens View Post
    Or he can be a *~sparkly*~ vampire. Which, by the way, is total bullshit, because vampires are supposed to fucking catch fire in the sun, not turn into disco balls.
    Are you doubting their commitment to Sparkle Motion?
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    lmao sparkle like a disco ball made me actually laugh out loud


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