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Thread: Anyone feel judged because of their tattoos?

  1. Regular Member
    kittycatastrophe's Avatar
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    #1

    Anyone feel judged because of their tattoos?

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    I'm very, very new here and hope I'm posting this in the right place. If this should go in another forum, definitely let me know.

    I have almost 2 dozen tattoos. Both of my arms are pretty much covered and I have others that are visible near my collarbone, etc.

    Background: I'm in a fairly new relationship with a guy I previously dated years ago. We knew each other well in the past but are just now rekindling that flame and getting to know each other again. My guy lives in a conservative community on the East Coast and I'm on the opposite side of the country so I'm not part of his social circle. If our relationship continues to progress, we've talked about me moving there.

    My guy is very tight with his friends and their spouses and they spend a lot of time together outside of work. I've met a few of his colleagues & military friends and their girlfriends / wives. In addition to those I haven't met, I've seen a lot of their photos on facebook and they all seem to be fairly conservative. No one has any visible tattoos / piercings. I'm worried that this could be an issue and that I may have a hard time fitting in or be judged negatively by some of the people in his social circle, based on my appearance.

    Thoughts on this? Or words of wisdom?
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    #2
    I don't think it will be an issue unless you make it to be

    I appear fairly conservative but my first tattoo was a pretty big one. Even the nice sweet girl at my work has a full sleeve, dermal piercings, and etc, but if you only knew her at work you'd never know. She always has them covered for work.

    But she was my go to person for questions when I was looking to get my tattoo done. People might surprise you. Lots of successful people that would be pegged as conservative have a wilder side.
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  3. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #3
    Be yourself. Ink is just decoration. If someone judges you by that, it's their loss.

    I am heavily inked, too. It's taken me a while to get into this mindset, but life is too short to worry about what other think of me. Dh loves me and so do our families. That's all that matters.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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    #4
    I have no tattoos (looking into a few but haven't found a design I LOVE), but I don't judge people who do and I think now more people are accepting of them. Now I may stare unintentionally because I am admiring/trying to figure out what it is .

    I wouldn't worry about it since there isn't much you can do about it anyway .

    ~Art Page~
    Germy = wifey
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    #5
    All good points. Thanks. It's funny because my last trip to visit him, when I met some of his friends and their wives, was the first time in 10 years that I felt self-conscious about my tattoos.

    I guess it just stems from wanting their approval because I know how much his guys mean to him. And he means a lot to me. So by extension, I want to get the thumbs up from the people he cares about. And it doesn't help that most of their wives look like they walked out of a fashion magazine whereas I'm short and... ummm.. quirky? Haha.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by kittycatastrophe View Post
    All good points. Thanks. It's funny because my last trip to visit him, when I met some of his friends and their wives, was the first time in 10 years that I felt self-conscious about my tattoos.

    I guess it just stems from wanting their approval because I know how much his guys mean to him. And he means a lot to me. So by extension, I want to get the thumbs up from the people he cares about. And it doesn't help that most of their wives look like they walked out of a fashion magazine whereas I'm short and... ummm.. quirky? Haha.
    Quirky is awesome .

    ~Art Page~
    Germy = wifey
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    #7
    I work in a pretty conservative industry (and company!) and live in a pretty conservative area and lots of my coworkers have tattoos. I remember finding out my manager has a ton and being shocked.

    I agree just be yourself and try not to worry about it. And remember, appearance doesn't mean much - just like your ink doesn't mean dictate anything about you as a person, neither does their lack of (visible) ink. There are plenty of people without tattoos that aren't judgy.
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    #8
    You know, CPANavyWife and Tojai, you both raise a really valid point. And now that I think about it, I believe I might have some soul searching to do on this. Because (somewhat ironically) it seems like I've been judging the girlfriends and wives of my guy's friends - or at least forming opinions about what they might think / believe - based on their appearances. Which is PRECISELY what I was worried would happen to me.

    Insecurity is a powerful and mischievous thing once it creeps into the brain. Has me all twisted up.
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    #9
    I have two dozen and counting. The majority can not be concealed. I've never been judged by peers. Not once have I been on the receiving end of negative comments or attention. The only relative that doesn't "like" tattoos is my father, and he's against them for religious reasons. But he knows it's my choice and doesn't really comment on them.

    The majority of my friends have at least some tattoos, and few (like Crystal), have a lot. It's just never been an issue in any social setting I've been in. My husband doesn't have any. Actually, the majority of men I have dated don't have tattoos or have only a few. He comes from a more conservative family (in demeanor and appearances, not religion/politics). They were never fond of tattoos, which is common for people of their generation. They've yet to mention anything to him about it, and I frankly couldn't care less what they think. His friends are an eclectic group. Since he's a martial arts instructor most of his friends are part of that circle, and many of them are into body modification.

    I can understand feeling like the odd one of the group, or feeling like you're being critically examined and sized up. Many people have prejudice, and body modification in certain circles and regions is looked at in a negative light. I would just try to ignore that and be you.
    Pax, Aeon
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by kittycatastrophe View Post
    You know, CPANavyWife and Tojai, you both raise a really valid point. And now that I think about it, I believe I might have some soul searching to do on this. Because (somewhat ironically) it seems like I've been judging the girlfriends and wives of my guy's friends - or at least forming opinions about what they might think / believe - based on their appearances. Which is PRECISELY what I was worried would happen to me.

    Insecurity is a powerful and mischievous thing once it creeps into the brain. Has me all twisted up.
    You said what I was trying to find a nice way to say! It's something I learned after massive weight loss- assuming others judged me was passing judgment on them. It's so hard to avoid! Anyhow, I AM incredibly conservative and tend to move in ultra-conservative circles, and I don't judge others on their tattoos... in fact I have one myself. I have never felt judged about it either. I think for the most part people just show polite interest- it's the loud minority who actually express vocal distaste. Anyway, you are two steps ahead having realized above, I just wanted to say that I think you will be ok!
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