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One Crazy Journey So Far...

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by , 11-25-2008 at 08:34 PM (385 Views)
Thursday will be mine and Chris's 4 year anniversary. I can't believe that. By the time we reach 5 years, we will have almost spent 2 of them apart, due to this 18 month deployment and random mobilizations.

I sit and wonder about it all. We've survived some crazy things and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything in this world. But I sure do miss him. Not a night goes by where I don't think I hear the door opening, in hopes its him or a day passes where he isn't on my mind. He's my boyfriend, yeah, but he's also my best friend.

I worry about him and us. This deployment wasn't suppose to happen in our heads. He hadn't been back to Iraq in almost 4 years and then he was stoplossed. He was finally feeling better and his PTSD was eased a lot from the first time I met him.

We got a two week notice that he was leaving in March. Two weeks, and our whole lives were turned upside down. It was stressful and emotionally draining. I couldn't help but count the days when I would lose him for a whole year and half. He had to be at the airport at 5 am, we stayed up the whole night, we didn't want to miss a single second with each other. I wanted to hold on and not let go, but had to. At the airport, I couldn't stop crying, and the days after, I felt like my world had stopped.

The one person that helped me through college missed my graduation. We were both crushed about that. He sent me a dozen roses the very next day.

Then, in June, he surprised me and came home for 4 days before leaving for the country. I was estatic and grateful for that time. But again, letting him go was hard.

Since then, I get an email here and there, we went through a week where he could call, but that ended. I feel so strange not having him here with me. I hate it. We have 10 and a half months to go. 10 and a half. It already has felt like forever. I just want time to push along so I can have my best friend home with me so we can get back to our lives together. Apart, we are independentally strong, but together, we are dynamic.

He's my hero. He's my lover. He's my best friend. I would wait an eternity for him.

I love you, Chris.

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