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LoveKiss

  1. Day 2

    by , 03-31-2009 at 03:11 PM
    I'm desperately trying to reconcile the person I thought he was with the liar he turned out to be. I don't know if I will ever be able to wrap my brain around what he has done. All I knew was a lie from the very first moment we met. I cannot imagine doing what he did. I just don't have that kind of callous disregard for others. I cannot make sense of anything. It hurts so bad. I had to wake up this morning and tell myself that this was day 2 of living the truth, even though it seems like such a ...
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  2. Not getting any better

    by , 03-22-2009 at 01:34 AM
    Well it's 2:30am and I'm still awake. I'm pretty sure that says something about my mental health. I was up until 3am last night, sobbing and freaking out. Tonight I am fine, but I still can't fall asleep. I seem to be perfectly fine and semi-normal for a week or so, and then I just completely lose it.

    The falling apart days are getting worse. It's becoming harder for me to stay in control of my emotions and step outside of them enough to objectively look at things. I am starting ...
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  3. screw it

    by , 03-20-2009 at 11:52 AM
    Today is one of those days where it seems like it would be so easy to say screw it and walk away. We haven't talked for 6 weeks. I'm sending e-mails to an account that hasn't been checked since early February. I'm calling a phone that's turned off. I'm in a fucking relationship with myself. He doesn't even seem to exist anymore. It seems like it would be so easy to say fuck it all and not look back. I know I can do this, but today I've lost sight of the reason why I'm doing this. I'm the world's ...
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  4. Dear E,

    by , 03-11-2009 at 02:06 PM
    I love you, crazy ass. Now get your fucking ass somewhere near a fucking computer so you can check your fucking e-mail and see that I am fucking dying to hear from you. :mumble Stupid fucking deployment. Fuck it all.

    Hugs and kisses,
    Me :lovekiss
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  5. And the beat goes on

    by , 03-06-2009 at 03:27 PM
    28 fucking days. We are sooooooo having a conversation when he gets home about how he needs to get over his aversion to sat phones, and calls home in general, when he is far, far away from a computer. 28 days is entirely too long for him to go dark. :gaah. I just want to laugh with him. It's been an incredibly frustrating week at work, and laughing with him is such a wonderful cure. I miss my boyfriend. :sadeyes
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