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Surviving the Trials and Tribulations of my First Deployment...

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by , 07-28-2013 at 11:35 PM (13818 Views)
It is amazing how a year can change things so drastically in relationships, especially military relationships. Sometimes for the good and other times for the bad. I know this first hand....

If you read some of my previous blogs, I had just met my boyfriend in September 2011. I found out about a month into the relationship that in exactly 6 months, he was going to be deployed for 6 months, but I didn't care. I liked this guy so much that I knew if I really wanted it to work, then we could make it work. Throughout the first 6 months before he was deployed things were pretty good. We got into a few arguments here and there but nothing out of the ordinary for new couples. I noticed that he would always doubt if we would make it through his deployment and that really annoyed me because in my heart of hearts, I knew we would. Why didn't he feel the same way? Ugh--MEN! LOL. To be fair, at that time, he was never the type of person to be emotionally open or share his feelings. He always kept a wall up, so I knew this would be one hell of a "ride".

Fast forward to March, 2012 and it was time for him to leave for his deployment. I specifically remember taking him to the airport and asking him if he was going to miss me and him saying "not right away" lol. There was that wall again! My "then" boyfriends 6 month deployment was hard and the first real test in our relationship as I had never experienced a deployment with him. We had tons of trials and tribulations. Throughout most of the deployment, I think he continuously questioned if we would be together when he comes back. Everytime he entered into a relationship before he was deployed it never worked out so I understood his fears and I get why he had a wall up during his deployment. I didn't appreciate some of his actions, but I understood. But I promised not only him and myself that I would stick by him no matter what. I just didn't know or rather feel, that my efforts were appreciated. How can someone continue to be a "rock" then they feel this way??

About 60 days before he returned he did a complete 360 and I think it's because it finally registered to him that I am going to be there for him and continuously support him no matter what. Throughout everything that happened during his deployment that negatively impacted our relationship (I will not disclose that here as somethings are meant to be private), I was STILL THERE!! And I think he thought "wow--finally someone didn't give up the relationship" It was so weird to have him email me constantly all day and just be so open! But I was NOT complaining. LOL.

So where did we end up upon his arrival back to the states in September?

At that time this all happened, he was my "boyfriend" and I was his "girlfriend." It is now a little over a year later and we have been married since May 6, 2013 and we are two days away from PCS'ing to Italy for 3 years! :-)

I guess I am saying all of this because at some point, someone is going to go through what I went through. Someone is going to experience their first deployment with their significant other and I hope they come across this blog entry and remember to never give up no matter how frustrating things may get. Things get hard but they will almost always get better. Don't ever give up when the person your with gives off the impression that they don't care. Always consider their past relationship issues and remember what they are doing over there work-wise consumes their life. But don't think for one minute they won't come around and see the strength you are releasing to them and appreciate you more than they ever did before. Your first deployment will make your relationship stronger as long as your supportive no matter what, but in the end it will make you a stronger person.

Until next time...

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