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One of the most difficult times in my life....

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by , 05-17-2008 at 05:24 PM (781 Views)
Well, I had a couple things to choose from that were difficult for different reasons. One was the death of my father, unexpectedly, on my 11th birthday. However, I chose to write about my divorce in 2003. It is difficult to stand up and point out your own faults, whereas when it comes to another person, you can nitpick everything until you are blue in the face.
When DH and I went through our divorce, I felt like I had to be this emotionally turned off person. I couldn't cry, I couldn't get angry, I just had to do it. It was difficult because I had three kids who were looking at me and seeing a person they didn't know. Many of my friends couldn't find the Jennifer they knew, because I got to a point where I just had to turn it all off.
The day that the kids and I got on the plane in Hawaii to fly home to Texas after the divorce was final, was the day I finally broke down and cried. I sat on the floor in the rest room and just bawled my eyes out for an hour, wondering what the heck I had done to me, to my DH and to my kids.
The week after we got to Texas, where I was going to live after the divorce, I went to my church that I grew up in and talked to one of the ministers there. She had been a family friend for many years and she steered me towards the Stephen's Ministry which paired me with somebody else who had been through similar circumstances. This allowed me to finally go through the emotions I hadn't allowed myself to feel for 6 months.
I was also faced with going back to work for the first time in several years, not to mention I was also enrolled full time in college. I didn't want to give that up, because I knew it was my resource for providing a good career and income to support the kids and myself.
Eventually, DH came to Texas to visit the kids and myself and he spent time with me one on one. We knew we still loved each other deeply and that before we went any further, we both needed to work on ourselves and our relationship.
15 months after the divorce, DH and I remarried in Hawaii on our son's 13th birthday. That was 4 years ago and all total we have been married 15 1/2 yrs.
So, that is one of the most difficult times in my life and proof that through hard work, prayer and communication, those difficult hurdles can be overcome.

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