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He is the love of my life

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by , 12-14-2009 at 08:33 PM (1283 Views)
Last night DB and I had the BEST talk we have had in a LONG time... which was much needed because of the issues we have been having...
Anyways, I found some old poems that he wrote while we were apart and thought id share them They are kinda sad but they make me look back and be happy that we are together again and know that we were feeling the same way...

anyways,


whats another day?

Tomorrow comes, tomorrow goes.
I'm still waiting on my toes.
Holding every breath, not thinking twice.
Time goes so slow, it never flies.
I'm just waiting to hold you again.
I pray it will happen, but I don't know when.
You're so far away from me.
I hear your voice in my head, but your face I can't see.
I'm holding on with all that I've got. my body's growing weak, but my heart is not.
I cry myself to sleep wondering where you are.
I wonder if you're wondering about me, looking at the same bright star.
heaven knows we are meant to be.
no one else will ever complete me.
you are my heart, my soul, and everything in between.
I know I can't see the future, but I wish this could be seen.
but I can't see the future, deep down I wonder if you'll even come back.
I hate myself for thinking it, but sometimes my heart is black.
the only thing I've ever wanted is you.
it's funny that you're the one thing I can't hold onto.
I watch you slide from out of my grip.
I cry inside, my hole world starts to slip.
I know I'll make it, I'll be ok.
one more day without you, what's another day?



**********************************


Answer
This answer that im looking to find,
Some say i should get over it, that im out of my mind
I just cant think, not knowing if it will stay
It haunts me night and day
It hurts to think that it will continue
That i will be left alone without you
I just dont understand how hard it will be
To just say it and come back to me
But then i have never been that good at this
Saying what i want in time before i miss
The opportunity to tell you what i want
Before all my dreams and wishes are for not
Photos and walls are all who hear me
Noone else to hear me screaming
I turn over and over in my sleep
Not know whom you are planning to keep


********************************************


Come back to me
to sleep in my arms
to just be

It is lonely here in my room
shadows on the wall casting a pale gloom
the bed empty beside me
this is where you are supposed to be

I know you have to be away
I understand this during the light of day
But as shadows fall upon the land
It just does not rest well with slumber's plan

I am greedy for your touch
Your presence I miss so very much
My skin cooled by the air tonight
Knowing your hands upon my skin - would make it right*

My slumber far from blissful
Tossing and Turning, patches of sleep fitful
I long for the peaceful slumber
snuggled in your arms, I remember

Now as I am somewhere nearing
sleep, in my mind engineering
Visions of you come before my eyes
Filling me with warmth I cannot disguise

Counting the days... one to ten
until we can be warm & snuggled close again
Fitting together like spoons
By the light of the moon
But for tonight, I will drift away
with images of us in my head at play
Tomorrow, then the next night, one, two, three
Praying you hurry back to me

Come back to me
to sleep in my arms
to just be


*******************************


True Fate?
*
I've finally fond the resolution
I'm having to live without the solution
My once pure soul is choke by pollution
My once clear head is choked with delusion
My once strong heart is weakened by confusion
Happiness for me is now an illusion
Pain and sorrow is my heart's brand new fusion
Forgotten memories are coming back, sharp and clear|
White-hot agony of what i missed begins to sear
Words you spoke to me that i didn't even hear
I can feel your arms around me, even as i stare into a mirror
And see there is no one to keep my company except my tears
No one whispers to me except my fears
Sweet visions of the future and promises fell on deaf ears

Surrounded by a lonely world of age-old sorrow and ancient hate
Will i always self-destruct my happiness...is this my true fate?

********************************************


Yeah so, if you read all of those... these are the times that I look back on that make me I ended up with Andy... Yes, I love Jon, always will. And I will be here for him... But I am IN love with Andy and always will be. The stress that we have been going through with him getting ready for deployment and me finishing the semester has made me forget that for a while... But last night I looked back on these and really did feel it again. I miss him and wish I could be with him for the holidays... its going to be tough not having him to hold when the new year comes in... not getting that new years kiss and knowing that he will be shipping out and I cant be there only 18 days later... but I know that I will be there because I will be on his mind and he is constantly on mine...

7 MORE MONTHS!!! Then he will just be my civilian cowboy... I cant wait!

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