Having trouble talking to spouse about finances :( - Ask Rich / Money 101

VVVAN · 10-13-2009, 11:28 AM

Does anyone else have trouble talking to their spouse about their home finances? My DH is the only one working and we are having trouble paying bills. And because we don't live together I can't monitor what he is spending on and about 4-5 days after he gets paid we don't have enough money to pay our bills. Any suggestions on dealing with a problem like this?

-Victoria

gunsgirl · 10-13-2009, 11:32 AM

we do not have that problem- but a sit down with him to explain what is going on may help.

you need to present him with a budget and have written down where every penny goes so he can see he cannot just spend.

if all esle fails you may need to cut him loose from the ATM and give him an allowance until he can grow up and be responsible.

Veronica Lin · 10-13-2009, 11:42 AM

DF and I use to have that problem, but its gotten better. DF doesn't understand that he just can't go out and buy whatever he wants whenever he wants. I just sit down and talk to him. Sometimes he gets frustrated and sometimes he understands. Yes we have little agruements about it from time to time. Communication is key.

LaSageFemme · 10-13-2009, 12:03 PM

you need to discuss it with him and tell him you have a plan, then I would suggest doing the following:

pay your bills for the pay period the very day you get paid, then take out cash to use for groceries/gas/etc. if it only leaves him with $100 or so, then so be it, but you have to be able to eat, get where you need to go and have a roof, power, phone, etc.

VVVAN · 10-13-2009, 01:06 PM

I have tried talking to him showing him the budget and our financial plan, also i have tried taking the money out early to pay for everything and leaving him with roughly 200 but he still over spends putting our checking account in a state where its NEGATIVE. And then the next time he gets paid we'd have to pay that off first. His excuse for everything was "I'm getting deployed then you'll have all the money!" Or "You can pay it all off when I deploy." He uses his deployment as grief or guilt, it drives me crazy.

10-13-2009, 11:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
VVVAN Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 11% Longevity: 1%	Having trouble talking to spouse about finances :( Does anyone else have trouble talking to their spouse about their home finances? My DH is the only one working and we are having trouble paying bills. And because we don't live together I can't monitor what he is spending on and about 4-5 days after he gets paid we don't have enough money to pay our bills. Any suggestions on dealing with a problem like this? -Victoria

10-13-2009, 11:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
gunsgirl I love cats Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: kingsland GA/ HITRON JAX Posts: 4,370 Classifieds: (3) Activity: 60% Longevity: 39%	we do not have that problem- but a sit down with him to explain what is going on may help. you need to present him with a budget and have written down where every penny goes so he can see he cannot just spend. if all esle fails you may need to cut him loose from the ATM and give him an allowance until he can grow up and be responsible. __________________ GA licensed Realtor Dawn

10-13-2009, 11:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Veronica Lin ARNG Wife. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,598 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 81% Longevity: 11%	DF and I use to have that problem, but its gotten better. DF doesn't understand that he just can't go out and buy whatever he wants whenever he wants. I just sit down and talk to him. Sometimes he gets frustrated and sometimes he understands. Yes we have little agruements about it from time to time. Communication is key. __________________ Started: 02.19.06 * Engaged: 07.30.08 * Married: 10.17.09

10-13-2009, 12:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
LaSageFemme My milkshake feeds all the kids in the yard... Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Norfolk, VA Posts: 419 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 40% Longevity: 13%	you need to discuss it with him and tell him you have a plan, then I would suggest doing the following: pay your bills for the pay period the very day you get paid, then take out cash to use for groceries/gas/etc. if it only leaves him with $100 or so, then so be it, but you have to be able to eat, get where you need to go and have a roof, power, phone, etc. __________________ Tiffany Wife to my awesome hubby, Pete Momma to our wonderful son, Evan, 4 Expecting our next blessing!

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10-13-2009, 01:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
VVVAN Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 11% Longevity: 1%	I have tried talking to him showing him the budget and our financial plan, also i have tried taking the money out early to pay for everything and leaving him with roughly 200 but he still over spends putting our checking account in a state where its NEGATIVE. And then the next time he gets paid we'd have to pay that off first. His excuse for everything was "I'm getting deployed then you'll have all the money!" Or "You can pay it all off when I deploy." He uses his deployment as grief or guilt, it drives me crazy.