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Thread: If you or your husband separated from the military, how did you know it was time?

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    #1

    If you or your husband separated from the military, how did you know it was time?

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    Basically the title. How did you know it was time to part ways with the military??

    We're very much so leaning that way, but are still on the fence. How did you know?
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    Our biggest push was when we both realized we wanted something permanent. We wanted to buy a home near family, build a life together, and raise our kids in it. We didn't want to continue moving around every couple of years. That, and DH began to hate his job. He'd come home just so unhappy, and we both agreed it wasn't worth it. We're a little tighter financially now, but we're so much happier overall.


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    We wanted a life that was our own and not dictated by the government. We wanted me to be able to have the job I wanted. We wanted our kids to grow up with their father around more than what deployments will allow. We wanted to give them a chance of not moving every 4 years to really shitty locations (the marine corps in particular has SHIT locations). We know MF can get a much better paying job out of the military, and I can have a great career not in it. we can do better for ourselves and our future kid(s), so it was an easy choice.
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    only once did we ever consider it, but then we weighed the pros/cons and decided the military was the fit for us.

    What has you on the fence?
    What are the reasons you are wanting to stay, or go?

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    Quote Originally Posted by *IGrow'EmXL* View Post
    Our biggest push was when we both realized we wanted something permanent. We wanted to buy a home near family, build a life together, and raise our kids in it. We didn't want to continue moving around every couple of years. That, and DH began to hate his job. He'd come home just so unhappy, and we both agreed it wasn't worth it. We're a little tighter financially now, but we're so much happier overall.
    The bolded is where we're at. He really doesn't like his job, at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    We wanted a life that was our own and not dictated by the government. We wanted me to be able to have the job I wanted. We wanted our kids to grow up with their father around more than what deployments will allow. We wanted to give them a chance of not moving every 4 years to really shitty locations (the marine corps in particular has SHIT locations). We know MF can get a much better paying job out of the military, and I can have a great career not in it. we can do better for ourselves and our future kid(s), so it was an easy choice.
    That's what we're thinking too. I would LOVE love love love LOVE to move to Japan or even Korea, but none of it is guaranteed and I feel like if we end up going back to the states, particularly if we end up in a really shitty location, we are going to regret him not getting out. We're also at the point where if we enlists again, by the end of that he will have 12 years in. Then we'd basically feel stuck to stay for the pension since it's *only* 8 years away. However, the chances of us going back to the states even if the next assignment is Asia, is very high if he's staying in until retirement.


    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    only once did we ever consider it, but then we weighed the pros/cons and decided the military was the fit for us.

    What has you on the fence?
    What are the reasons you are wanting to stay, or go?

    His big hangup about getting out is he's scared he won't be able to get a good job. My hangup is missing out on the travel opportunities. However, I'm pretty darn sure he can get a great job outside the military and the biggy is that nothing is guaranteed with the military so an optimal travel location may not even be in the cards for us anyway...
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    #6
    DH is 3 years from retirement, so that made our decision pretty easy. He is not going to stay in and try for e-8, because he is tired of deploying, and he wants to be a hands on dad year round
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    We are having the same talks right now since he would get the extra money right now for volunteering to get out. But since we have kids it just won't work. If we didn't have kids it would be worth it to get out right now with the extra programs in place.

    Quote Originally Posted by BiggyBiggs View Post
    The bolded is where we're at. He really doesn't like his job, at all.



    That's what we're thinking too. I would LOVE love love love LOVE to move to Japan or even Korea, but none of it is guaranteed and I feel like if we end up going back to the states, particularly if we end up in a really shitty location, we are going to regret him not getting out. We're also at the point where if we enlists again, by the end of that he will have 12 years in. Then we'd basically feel stuck to stay for the pension since it's *only* 8 years away. However, the chances of us going back to the states even if the next assignment is Asia, is very high if he's staying in until retirement.





    His big hangup about getting out is he's scared he won't be able to get a good job. My hangup is missing out on the travel opportunities. However, I'm pretty darn sure he can get a great job outside the military and the biggy is that nothing is guaranteed with the military so an optimal travel location may not even be in the cards for us anyway...
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    #8
    And another big pro of him separating is that I can start working! DH doesn't mind supporting me now, but I want to do something. However, I'm really picky and I don't want to do just anything. I need to be somewhere stable to start my career as it is not one that is easily movable to any location.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by BiggyBiggs View Post
    The bolded is where we're at. He really doesn't like his job, at all.


    His big hangup about getting out is he's scared he won't be able to get a good job. My hangup is missing out on the travel opportunities. However, I'm pretty darn sure he can get a great job outside the military and the biggy is that nothing is guaranteed with the military so an optimal travel location may not even be in the cards for us anyway...

    Yeah, DH being happy in his job was a big thing to us. Whether he wanted it to or not, the unhappiness weighed on us both. It's very hard to have a happy marriage when your husband is unhappy most of the time because the job that takes up 75% of the day, makes him so upset. Plus, I was depressed. I had no family or friends anywhere within visiting distance. By the time I made a friend, they were leaving.

    Does your DH have a degree? What field of work is he in, or would he be looking to get into if he left the military?


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    #10
    If you are thinking about getting out, doing so when you dont have a kid is ideal since you can live so much cheaper and you can skimp on things you wouldnt want to with a kid if you ended up in a situation where you needed to, ya know? You dont have to care about school districts or nannies while you and your DH both work, one of you can be in school and you can live off one paycheck. Just other things to think about- getting out later may not be a financial possibility.
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