Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: My Thoughts On Military Spouse Appreciation Day 2103

  1. Home is where the army sends us
    jssheila's Avatar
    jssheila is offline
    Home is where the army sends us
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Fort Bliss
    Posts
    404
    #1

    My Thoughts On Military Spouse Appreciation Day 2103

    Advertisements
    I haven't been on here in a long time. I have been having a rough week this week with nightmares & wishing we were still in the army. I don't know what brought it on, but I'm trying to roll with it & work through things. I wrote this today & thought I would share.








    I have to admit, every year when Military Spouse Appreciation Day comes around, I wouldnít even know if it werenít for a few things on facebook posted by Army wives.

    You would think, that after a year as an Army girlfriend & six years as an Army wife I would have it highlighted and circled in red on my calendar.

    The truth is, every day is more like Military Spouse AWARENESS Day at my house.

    My husband, who served 13 year in the army, was given the boot and a small pension because of physical injuries that he had happen to him in the army and he will always have pain from. Thankfully he got out without debilitating PTSD but that certainly doesnít mean that he doesnít have all of the symptoms, they just donít happen as frequently as others experience.

    As an active duty Army wife your physical life is out of your control. As we jokingly say, ďIf the Army wanted soldiers to have a wife they would have issued oneĒ.
    You live where they tell you, when they tell you, they take your husband when they want, for as long as they want. You have to learn to be strong, yet flexible. Open to new adventures, yet able to make your family feel at home in your current location. As a Former Army Wife, your mental & emotional life is often out of your control.

    The Army is itís own world. You can see that just by entering the guarded gate and realizing that there is another city on the other side of those fences that the average citizen canít get into & canít use even if they do get in.

    That is the life that you become not only used to, but learn to rely on as an Army family.

    But, what happens to those people after they get the combat boot and told that they arenít needed any more?

    The first thing that happens is the paycheck stops. In this economy, former soldiers who are coming from a job where they could work under the pressure of being shot at and blown up, worked for weeks or months at a time, & were leaders and go getters in their unit; They are being told by civilian companies that they donít have the experience in the job that they have applied for & canít be used.

    The second thing that happens is that they go to the VA to ask for help, not only in the job search, also for the physical medical help & mental medical help that they need. It takes months to get into the VA system and to get the appointments & help that they need.

    So, where does Army Spouse AWARENESS play into this? I think you already have an idea.

    As an Army wife I also have my own form of PTSD. My husband has been home from Iraq for 5 years and just 2 nights ago I had a dream that he died in Iraq. It is not normal for a person in their 20s to be as aware of the possibility of loosing their husband as Army wives are. You know all of the steps that would be taken if he was KIA and many have watched those steps played out in someone elseís life. With all of that knowledge, your brain can cook up some crazy nightmares.

    As a newly, former Army wife, you are as accustom to the other world life of the Army as your husband is and now your life is also turned upside down.

    It is about this time that you realize that you are not a part of that world on the other side of the guarded fences any more. Sure, you may be able to still get in, but you are now just a visitor. I happens over night, about the same time that your finances take a nosedive & your husbandís PTSD flares up because he goes from feeling needed, even important, to being a no one and unwanted by the civilian world.

    We have been out in the civilian world for a year and a half now. My husband has been blessed to have been spotted by a former Marine, while he was working a job that is meant for a teenager with no experience, and offered a job where, with hard work and determination he is able to make a wage comparable to his Army pay.

    So, here we are. Aware that we will never have the feeling of sacrifice and service that we both had in our 20s again. Aware that the nightmares will still come for both of us. Aware that for some reason, that city beyond the guarded gates is the only place that we truly feel at home.



    And, Once a Military Spouse, Always a Military Spouse.
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Jazmine's Avatar
    Jazmine is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    9,757

    #2
    I'm sorry you feel that way. I personally don't know when MSAD occurs and will probably never circle it but maybe focusing on other days will help you to not have as much of a negative reaction toward the "holiday". Are there support groups or other families that have transitioned out of military life in your area that can be a support or just another family who knows what it's like?
  3. Home is where the army sends us
    jssheila's Avatar
    jssheila is offline
    Home is where the army sends us
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Fort Bliss
    Posts
    404
    #3
    My point was that we do have to focus on every day, hence the awareness. I wasn't meaning to be negative. Just realistic with what happens when a soldier isn't a soldier any more. No one knows & we just disappear. There are most definitely not support groups for after transitioning out of military. I didn't think I was having a "negative" reaction to the holiday any more than you would say that sadness on Memorial day is a "negative" reaction.
  4. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Tojai's Avatar
    Tojai is offline
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    St. Pete FL
    Posts
    30,026


    #4
    I never was one to celebrate those holidays either.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •