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Thread: Nervous about getting out...

  1. Senior Member
    katysunshine09's Avatar
    katysunshine09 is offline
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    #1

    Help Nervous about getting out...

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    My husband will be separating from the Navy this coming February, and I think I'm more nervous about it than he is.

    The entire time we have known each other he has been in the military, so I'm a little worried that our relationship will change when he gets out (I'm not sure in what way, this is probably just a silly thing I'm paranoid about).
    I'm also a little nervous about living off just my income while he's in school. Financially I know we will be able to do it, but it's going to mean that we have to change our current lifestyle/spending a bit.
    On the other hand I'm very excited to not have to go through any more deployments, and to be able to finally be on the same schedule.

    Any insight, advice, or experiences will be greatly appreciated!!
  2. After all this time? Always.
    Er-my-knee's Avatar
    Er-my-knee is offline
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    #2
    My DB just went through this. My advice is be ready to deal with his adjustment period. Just like you supported him while he was in, you need to support him now that he isn't. Transitioning to civilian life is not easy and I definitely understand that you're nervous about your relationship, income, and whatnot. Your relationship WILL change, but that doesn't mean it has to be for the worst. Hang in there, and be there for him. Understand that mood swings are a product of stress from the transition and that after a while things will settle down. The more flexible you can be, the easier it will be for him. PM me anytime if you want to chat. I'm in the same boat.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
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    #3
    It is a major change and transition DH retired three years ago - he had been AD the entire time we had known each other/been married and I had a lot of anxiety about it. I don't think your concern about the relationship is silly at all - it's a legitimate worry. There will be changes for your relationship. Do you feel your relationship is built on a solid foundation now?
    I won't tell you it's all smooth sailing and not to worry about any of it - the fact of the matter is, like any change, it can be a bit of a roller coaster. It's going to be a series of adjustments for both of you. The good news is, it sounds like you already have a good handle on some of the big concerns and that puts you one step ahead of the game - being blindsided by things can make them that much more overwhelming.

    Communication is a BIG key to making it through with minimum bumps and bruises to your relationship. You can only prepare/anticipate so much, there are going to be things come up that surprise you and those are the times when the communication will be that much more important.

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