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Thread: return from deployment + separation from AF = freak out?

  1. Old Newbie
    MadamNikki84's Avatar
    MadamNikki84 is offline
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    Mar 2011

    Help return from deployment + separation from AF = freak out?

    So my DB recently came back from Afghanistan and in just two months will be separating from the Air Force. He seems to be having a sort of mixture of troubles transitioning to being back home plus major fears about separating and returning to civilian life. He seems to be having a sort of quarter-life crisis of sorts and is even questioning our relationship and is so fearful of anything after the next two months. We're trying to work on us and are getting some help with it soon to see how we can ease this transition.

    I feel so helpless. It seems all I can do is be super patient, give him space and listen when he needs it. We talk about what we're feeling and what fears we have, but I wish I could do more, for him and for us.

    Any advice on how to help him deal with all of this and cope myself?
  2. Regular Member
    KrysMarie's Avatar
    KrysMarie is offline
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    Feb 2012
    Seattle, WA
    This will be my situation within the next year or so as well. My boyfriend will be returning from deployment and getting out of the Army almost immediately, and this is exactly the sort of thing I'm anticipating. I wish I had some advice for you but I think you're right with being patient and giving him space - it's probably really hard to not only be transitioning out of a war zone, but also starting a whole new chapter of your life.

    It's been a few weeks since you posted this - how have things been going?
  3. Senior Member
    PinknGreen's Avatar
    PinknGreen is offline
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    Jan 2012
    under the same roof :)
    While I have no personal experience with this exact situation, I think you have the right outlook.

    If I was in your shoes, I would be super patient with him and depending on what kind of person he is- start some conversations about what he's concerned about/thinking of for his future, without 'pushing' it.. if that makes any sense!

    DB just returned from A'stan and he's still got a while before he's out but I've learned how I can talk to him about what's on his mind without pressuring him into sharing that stuff. You know your DB best, so just be supportive and the wonderful person you are and it will work out!

    for being an awesome girlfriend!

    "This too shall pass!"
  4. Regular Member
    LogisticsWifey12's Avatar
    LogisticsWifey12 is offline
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    Mar 2012
    Moody AFB
    I dont' have much information to give but don't feel helpless. If you ever need to talk please feel free to inbox me as I'm a milspouse with AF as well. Take care! I'm in deployment #1 right now

    Lawd The Sanity!
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  5. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
    KarmaRocks's Avatar
    KarmaRocks is offline
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    Jun 2009
    Leaving the service during this time is a daunting undertaking. He's going to be scared and nervous and afraid that he can't support himself let alone a relationship. Just be supportive and listen. There's not much you can do other than talk to him and try to encourage his post military activities.

    Does he have a plan for what he's going to do when he's out?

    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber

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