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Thread: transitioning back to civillian mil spouse

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    transitioning back to civillian mil spouse

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    Hey guys,
    So after 6 years and some change of service, I've decided to get out so that my husband ( still active) and I can stay together. I thought I was ok with it at first but now I'm freaking out. I'm loosing my paycheck, my rank, my way of life, some of my independence and in a way I feel like I am loosing my identity and having to start over again. I've been finding fault with every decision about our PCS (going to Whidbey) and just feel like crying all the time. I still have 5 months left but they are slipping away so quickly. Anyone else going through this? Or am I odd man out here lol.
  2. I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
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    #2
    Change is always stressful (even if we don't recognize the stress) and change can be intimidating and frightening. Totally understandable.

    Just take it one day at a time and remember that you have six years of incredible experience, both professionally and personally. You will find your new place in life and you will love life. But when you have been doing the same thing for years . . . it is definitely a bit unsettling to think "Oh. After tomorrow, never again!"

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    #3
    While I did not leave the service I did leave behind law school (should be starting now) and a chance to go back to a well paying job I had for 2 and a half years. Adjusting to being dependent is the craziest thing every if you are not used to the lifestyle and I had my fair share of breakdowns

    Trust me, it gets easier, you just have to let yourself get used to it and try not to fight it too much.
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    Just try to think of it as a new adventure, a new chapter of your life. It's exciting - don't forget to think of it that way
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    #5
    Are you sure you want to get out? Are you guys the same branch? Just curious. We've known quite a few spouses who've gotten out after one enlistment and their husband's have stayed in, but it was always because they didn't want to be in the Air Force anymore. Use your GI Bill and go to school? I know you will get the BAH still and book money (since its your GI Bill it won't matter that he's still on active duty). You have tons of options. Just start exploring them.
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    #6
    Change is a stressful thing - right now you are only able to see what you are losing, once you start to see what you can gain, your mindset may change.
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    #7
    We are both in the Navy and lucky enough to be at the same station as well, but his xfr would put me at least 14months behind in xfr so that is part of the reason for getting out. I'm going to be studying midwifery and I am a doula right now so i have plans for when I get out. I think it's just such a shock to my system and realities right now. The rose colored glasses are coming off so to speak.

    I love the Navy, well not this station or platform at all, but the rest of it I lived for lol. I love fighter jets and launching those babies off the bow

    I appreciate the kind words and encouragement you guys! Coming out of my "safety zone" into the unkown world of part time housewife, student and full time "official wife" lol is kinda scary but it's so nice knowing there is a support system out here!
  8. Regular Member
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    #8
    Does the Navy allow for servicemembers to go reserve, & you could move where you are reserve whenever your DH gets a xfer?

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