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Thread: Stressed... anyone else gone through this?

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    #1

    Sad Stressed... anyone else gone through this?

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    He's getting out in less then 3 months and I'm just really nervous. I know he is too. We don't have much set up aside from him going to school. This just seems like a really bad idea lately and it really stresses me out to even think about it.

    To those who have SOs who voluntarily separated before their retirement... how did that go? Did things turn out okay in the end? Anybody's SO ever return to active duty? Curtis's plan is to go to school, finish his degree, and in the meantime I KNOW we will be struggling a lot. I'm not ready for this and neither is he. But I guess I just want a smidgen of reassurance it's not the end of the world...

    Blah. I'm just blubbing right now I guess. But I'm just really freaken nervous.
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    Truthfully, with the new GI bill I don't think its nearly as bad as it used to be. You get housing allowance and a book stipened. As long as your not over your head in debt I think it possible to get ahead in the world. A lot depends on where he's going to school, but BAH can cover a lot depending on where you live etc (I went to school at USF in Tampa). There's also other grant money out there.

    I think the time during school is the easy part... its the once he graduates which would make me nervous truthfully.
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    dh got out and 2 yrs later went back in- he is not 3 yrs away from retirement.

    it was really hard- for us the biggest thing was the cost of health care- we were paying 400 a month for premiums and had a 20% deductable for every visit.

    also was the loss of the BAH and the BAS- for us for our location it was a loss of 1400 dollars.

    yes the GI BILL pays the e5 BAH - but it is for the location of the brick and mortar school. and if that is the only income it will be very tough to do.

    doable but tough.
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    Dh got out after his first 4 years, and then got back in 6 months later. Honestly it was horrible for us. He had a really hard time finding a job (this was 6 years ago) that would pay enough to support us and then have insurance for the kids. Now we know he wont be getting out for probably another 20 years and we are both ok with that lol.
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    #5
    I have no idea what kind of stress you are going through, just wanted to let you know I'll keep you in my thoughts
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    My SO returned to active duty, but I have to add that was during a time when they were readily accepting prior service. They weren't scaling down or starting to cut their troop numbers either. Your SO may have to "compete" with new boots and other active duty members trying to get back in, and I have known at least twenty off hand that got out, turned around a year later and were turned down, and either went reserve or national guard instead.

    Are you currently working now? If not, it may be best to start to help out with the expenses after he gets out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubMunkeyBles View Post
    Truthfully, with the new GI bill I don't think its nearly as bad as it used to be. You get housing allowance and a book stipened. As long as your not over your head in debt I think it possible to get ahead in the world. A lot depends on where he's going to school, but BAH can cover a lot depending on where you live etc (I went to school at USF in Tampa). There's also other grant money out there.

    I think the time during school is the easy part... its the once he graduates which would make me nervous truthfully.
    I've heard a lot of bad things about the G.I. Bill though actually which is a big reason why I'm nervous. We do have some debt. Not over our head but it is there and not something we can really avoid unfortunately. Our BAH will be cut down (but at least we'll be getting it) but I've heard getting the book stipend and even your BAH can be a huge pain in the you know where. But thank you for the post, it was a much needed positive turn. :]

    Quote Originally Posted by gunsgirl View Post
    dh got out and 2 yrs later went back in- he is not 3 yrs away from retirement.

    it was really hard- for us the biggest thing was the cost of health care- we were paying 400 a month for premiums and had a 20% deductable for every visit.

    also was the loss of the BAH and the BAS- for us for our location it was a loss of 1400 dollars.

    yes the GI BILL pays the e5 BAH - but it is for the location of the brick and mortar school. and if that is the only income it will be very tough to do.

    doable but tough.
    Yeah. Right now, I don't think Curt is really taking into consideration how much people normally pay for health insurance or that he might be even paying more then that. We are also facing a loss in BAH and we don't intend to use it at our only source of income but it may be his only source of income for awhile. How was it going back in after getting out?

    Quote Originally Posted by KristenM View Post
    Dh got out after his first 4 years, and then got back in 6 months later. Honestly it was horrible for us. He had a really hard time finding a job (this was 6 years ago) that would pay enough to support us and then have insurance for the kids. Now we know he wont be getting out for probably another 20 years and we are both ok with that lol.
    Did he have a hard time getting back in? This is exactly what I envision and it horrifies me. Although we don't have kids, which helps.

    Quote Originally Posted by leeta View Post
    I have no idea what kind of stress you are going through, just wanted to let you know I'll keep you in my thoughts
    Aw, thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frybread View Post
    My SO returned to active duty, but I have to add that was during a time when they were readily accepting prior service. They weren't scaling down or starting to cut their troop numbers either. Your SO may have to "compete" with new boots and other active duty members trying to get back in, and I have known at least twenty off hand that got out, turned around a year later and were turned down, and either went reserve or national guard instead.

    Are you currently working now? If not, it may be best to start to help out with the expenses after he gets out.
    Yeah, I have a job now though really honestly it doesn't pay much. Once we move when he gets out, I have two jobs lined up and I expect I will be working very long work weeks so we can get by, much less live comfortably. Curt has the advantage that he could do an MOS that is really in demand in the AF right now (contracting, which many of the guys in his shop are currently switching MOSes (sp?) to do). So if in the next year or so it came back to re-enlisting, I don't know that it would be a problem. Hmm.


    Sorry I'm so negative guys. It's just so hard to keep my head up about this. I really want to see the light in the storm but I just don't think he knows that it's rough out there for civilians right now, much less people who just left the military.
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    Re-reading my posts, it makes it seem like he's a total idiot who can't comprehend that we'll be struggling. I know he knows we'll struggle, and we do talk about it often. But I think he also is a little caught up in the idea of not being military and kind of forgetting about real life. He tends to be blase (sp) about some of the real problems and more concerned about really trivial things.

    I guess I could chalk that up to him not knowing anything in adult life except military and me having much more recent experience trying to get by in the civilian world?
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by crazypasta View Post
    Re-reading my posts, it makes it seem like he's a total idiot who can't comprehend that we'll be struggling. I know he knows we'll struggle, and we do talk about it often. But I think he also is a little caught up in the idea of not being military and kind of forgetting about real life. He tends to be blase (sp) about some of the real problems and more concerned about really trivial things.

    I guess I could chalk that up to him not knowing anything in adult life except military and me having much more recent experience trying to get by in the civilian world?
    You're def going to struggle. That stinks you'll take a BAH cut. I sometime forget that Tampa is such a higher amount (I got BAH while in college for about 2 years for there and it was more than enough for an apartment, utilities and food etc).

    It's not very easy anymore to go back in, especially as active duty. I know the Air Force is hardly taking anyone. Has he thought about ROTC maybe? I know my university always had a lot of on campus jobs available.
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    #10
    No advice, just
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