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I'm not familiar with Nikons, but the lower your aperture which is how you get more blur or bokeh is because of the shallower DOF (depth of field). That also makes it harder for beginners because you need to be spot on with your focus on your subject. Can you toggle focus points on a D90?
I probably just totally confused you even more. I would bump your aperture up a bit more to work on focus and then ease back down. Can you post a pic of an example that would help me/us know exactly where the problem is.
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