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I know how you are feeling..I have always been independent and was working before I married him. But then when we got married and move to Germany, things changed and I was not making anymore money..So I hate spending his money even though he insists it's OUR money. We have joint accounts but I also have a personal account with money I had saved prior to marriage which I used for emergency or when I feel bad using his money. Since he's deployed, I am incharged of all the finances and paying the bills and I am proud to say that we don't have anymore debt since early October.
It's really all in the head with whether spending your money or your husband money...I mean I joke with DH that "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine" But seriously at the end of the day, it is both your money. if you feel really uncomfortable, why don't you ask your DH to give you an allowance every month so that the money you spend is money that you know he gave you to spend..Sort of payment for cooking and cleaning the house, etc...Maybe that will make you feel better..
Be glad that your DH trust you with his money because there are some DH out there who don't trust their wives at all. DH was married before me and on his first deployment she spend 8000 in 6 months on his CC on shopping, paying trips for her family, buying stuff...So instead of saving, he had to pay off all his CC debt because of her..DH trust me with the money because he knows that I am very anal about money and into budgeting. So we don't have a problem there...But I have seen wives who go into spending spree as soon as their Dh leaves and rake up a lot of CC debt.
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